Puppies in Love!

Prompt #: 68

Title: take a shot for you
Word Count: 16.5k
Rating: PG
Warning(s): profanities, a lot of pining, sehun (yes he is a warning)
Summary: Jongin has always been a pawn, a constant. He is never the chosen one.

Author's Note: alright so i want to send a huge thanks to the mods for being absolutely patient and tolerant~ also to my op, this is not the crack!fic you wanted because i kind of suck at that... so this is an 180 degree turn but i hope you like it nonetheless! and to readers of this fic fest, enjoy and give ur love to the rest of the fics too! :~)



Windswept hair, the breeze peeking in from the smallest gap of the window, the reminiscent scent of spring in the air hitting the both of them all at once.

It is a bittersweet scent, but Jongin can't stop inhaling it in, drinking it all in.

This could easily be a road trip with the love of his life, a trip to discover all the secrets of the universe together.

But this is Jongin's life and this love is heavily unrequited, disastrous, self-inflicting and doomed from the beginning.

This is how it starts.






“You can never say no when it comes to him,” Sehun casually comments offhandedly, a hiccup edged at the end of his sentence.

Ha, Jongin wants to laugh at that. He ignores Sehun, circling two fingers around a glass. There's a sheen of sweat on Jongin's temple but he's too busy downing another shot to wipe it off and also, he really doesn't care. This is just Oh Sehun, his best friend. He has seen Jongin at his worst; puking his guts out at three in the morning.

And it's about to make a part two in about ten minutes as Jongin dashes into the washroom, heaving over a toilet bowl.

He hears the soft sound of Sehun's footsteps padding after him, a fist banging against the door. “Stop calling me out to babysit you. I have an actual job, y'know?”

“Sucking dicks doesn't count as a job,” Jongin manages to say before he feels it rising in his throat, threatening to hit the bowl again.

He can imagine Sehun scrunching his nose in disgust at him. He feels the kick at his ass as Sehun's voice wades through his ears, “Shut the fuck up. I'll be waiting outside.”

Sehun leaves Jongin alone, his head spinning and dizzying with the alcohol sloshing in his system. His chin hits the edge of the toilet bowl and he wonders just how he ends up at a bar every weekend, drinking all the misery away.

Jongin thinks of the wedding in a month and the bile rises in his throat again, adding to the pile in the bowl.






Jongin officially hates Byun Baekhyun.

Alright, not really because Jongin suddenly remembers how the older boy helped him get through history lectures in college and patted his back helpfully through the times he got sick from splurges of alcohol flowing through his body (in comparison to Oh Sehun, he's an angel).

But that doesn't change the fact that Jongin still mildly detests Byun Baekhyun at this very second.

He stares at the note in his hand, light seeping through the windows of the apartment, brightening the room like a heavy paradox against the words on the paper. Jongin clenches his fist, crushing half of the note and feeling uneasiness settle in his heart like a rock. There is a ring on the table, where it sits as a paper weight on the note. The ring is too familiar for Jongin to not know where it's from. He had seen Chanyeol obsess over it for a while.

Jongin,

I assume you'd be the first to read this since we are due to meet in the morning. If this isn't you, then, hello whoever you are. Tell Chanyeol I'm sorry.
My life has been a question mark ever since I've been with Chanyeol and I cannot live like this; uncertain of my feelings and future marriage.
Thus, this wedding cannot happen.

Best wishes,
Baekhyun

The words swirl around in front of his vision, Jongin can feel a headache coming on strongly. It prickles at the corners of his mind. Jongin closes his eyes, wishing for the words on the paper to disappear, but it's written in ink. Dark blue ink, impossible to erase. While Jongin understands that Baekhyun was a theatre major, there is no need for him to pull such dramatic antics.

This is ridiculous.

And stupid.

Jongin dials a number on his phone, bottom lip caught underneath his teeth in nervousness. He listens to the dial tone, tapping his fingers against his thigh and pacing around the empty living room.

“It's ten in the morning,” a sleepy voice wafts into his ear, and Jongin stops. “This better be good, Jongin.”

“Something happened,” is all Jongin could say. He is still gnawing at the flesh of his bottom lip. He can't think of anyone else to call, thus, Junmyeon is on the other end of the line, probably awakened by the panic in Jongin's voice.

A pause, he hears rustling on the other end. Junmyeon asks, impatient, “What?”

“Baekhyun ran away,” Jongin blurts out, his voice echoes in the empty apartment. Saying it out loud makes it seem even more realistic, cementing it even further.

Jongin's throat closes up and he feels himself choking on air.

“What?!” This time, Junmyeon mid shouts into his ear. He stutters on his words, “Wh- wha- how? Huh?”

“I don't know. Junmyeon, listen– ”

“Go check his bedroom, check if all of his stuff are there. Go.”

Jongin's feet move on instinct at the sound of Junmyeon's command. He heads towards Baekhyun's room, turning the knob of the door. He is faced with the emptiness of the room except for the bed and remaining furniture, but other than that, it looks awfully uninhabited. Jongin's grip almost slips on the phone he's holding when he spots two boxes labelled 'Chanyeol's' by the bed.

Fuck. Jongin closes his eyes momentarily.

“Hey, did you find anything?”

Jongin sighs out into the receiver, “Everything's gone except for Chanyeol's things.” His eyes open and the room remains the same; empty. “What do I do?”

The same, resigned sigh is echoed by Junmyeon before he answers, “I don't know, kid.”

Jongin's head spins, his knuckles are whitened when he tightens his grip on the door knob. Jongin skims through his memories of being in the presence of Baekhyun and Chanyeol, tries to find anything amiss with this engaged couple. If anything, he could remember the amount of times he wanted to run to the toilet bowl and puke out his unrequited love and unreasonable envy so that he could properly move on and live through life without looking at Chanyeol like some kind of lovesick idiot.

There's almost no sign of Baekhyun expressing unhappiness with Chanyeol and almost no complaints of being with the elf-eared giant.

How is he going to tell Chanyeol this? Jongin strongly detests Baekhyun for dropping this responsibility on him. He hates Baekhyun, forget all past deeds of being a reliable friend during times of alcoholic outbursts and struggles in history class.

“I'm coming over,” Junmyeon says on the other end, surprising Jongin out of his thoughts. He hums in response, as Junmyeon continues, “Just sit still. Order some takeout. We'll figure something out.”

The call drops and Jongin pulls the phone away from his ear. He lets the door slam behind him with a light thud as he pads towards the living room, shoulders sagged from the stress and exhaustion. A long string of profanities fills his mind when he plops himself down on the couch, head lolling to the side.

His stomach grumbles out of nowhere. Jongin rolls his eyes and swallows the scream he has been wanting to let out.

Jongin picks up his phone again, he hesitates before pressing the numbers. His stomach grumbles loudly in the room but his salivary glands are dry, Jongin thinks of the idea of food filling his stomach and almost gags on reflex.

Maybe not, he puts down his phone and lets out a sigh.

And to wait... until the inevitable happens.

That is telling Chanyeol that his precious groom-to-be ran the fuck away and dropped this unexpected bomb on everyone.

The migraine that comes after is kind of inevitable as well.





“Oh,” is what Junmyeon first says when he sees the empty apartment. “For a second, I thought this could be a prank pulled by you and Baek.”

Jongin turns sharply to the elder, slapping the back of his hand at Junmyeon's arm. He doesn't feel an ounce of regret when Junmyeon winces. Jongin seethes, “I'd come up with a better prank than this.”

Junmyeon walks around the living room, just like how Jongin paced the floors earlier in distress. His hands are on his hips, lips pursed in frustration. There's a ringing in Jongin's ears and he keeps trying to imagine the expression on Chanyeol's face when he tells him.

Heartbroken, he'd be so heartbroken, Jongin's shoulders drop in heavy realisation of the severity of the situation.

“Have you tried calling Baekhyun?” Junmyeon asks.

A sigh, “Like ten times. Not even counting those in the morning when I try to wake him up.”

“His brother?”

“I don't have his number.”

“His parents?”

“I don't have their numbers either.”

“Luhan?”

Jongin's eyebrows furrow deeply, confusion waving over his features. “Wait, why Luhan?”

Junmyeon shrugs, “I don't know, he's the wedding planner.” He brakes to a stop in front of the television and laments out in frustration with a stomp in his feet, “God, why is Baekhyun so darn dramatic? Must he pull such shitty antics?”

“Tell me about it,” Jongin sympathises and hits his head back on the cushion. It doesn't hurt as much as he wanted it to. Maybe... he should fall and hit his head on concrete. Jongin considers the temptation over in his head, trying to mask the anxiety and stop it from breaking out into beads of sweat on his temples again.

“What are we going to do?” Jongin feels the panic rising again in his throat, it's not helping him calm down. “Do we try to find him first? Tell Chanyeol? Call the cops? Kill ourselves?”

Junmyeon plops down on the sofa next to Jongin, his weight settling in on the cushion. Jongin shifts away as Junmyeon sighs loudly, a gust of air, “Maybe we should try to find Baekhyun first.”

Jongin tries not to breathe in the heavy scent of Junmyeon's cologne but it's poking at his nostrils, stinging his senses. He heaves a deep breath of clean air on the other side, “Sure but once we find Baekhyun, I'm beating him up. Chanyeol would probably be widowed before the wedding.”

Junmyeon's elbow digs into Jongin's ribs all too sharply, knocking the breath out of his lungs. Jongin levels a glare at Junmyeon which goes ignored as the elder stares straight ahead. His lips are still pursed, this time it's in concentration. Jongin runs around with this useless information on the quirks of his friends.

The most useless being Park Chanyeol.

“And if we don't...” Junmyeon trails off, his teeth nibbling on his bottom lip. Jongin copies the action, the nerves being the actor of most of his movements. “We have to...”

Jongin cuts him off, “I know.”

Suddenly, Junmyeon stands up, his fist clenched by his side in determination with a heavy intensity in his gaze. Jongin watches him as he speaks up, “I'll try to contact Baekhyun's parents and brother.” He turns to Jongin with a pointed forefinger nudging at his nose, Jongin scrunches his nose in retaliation. “And you try to ask around for any clues and signs of Baekhyun's whereabouts.”

“Since when did this turn into a detective show?”

“Got it?” Junmyeon raises an eyebrow expectantly.

Jongin holds in the sigh he was going to let out and nods grudgingly, “Yes, sir.”

“Good.” Junmyeon gives a nod of finality and stalks off, grabbing his coat. He stares at Jongin one last time to assess his expression and when Jongin shouts out a “I'll do it, Junmyeon. God, just leave!”, Junmyeon gives a small smile of satisfaction. His hand outstretches to pat at Jongin's hair before leaving him in Baekhyun's empty apartment, muttering about some kind of office work he has to get to.

He pauses before the door, hand hovering over the knob. There is hesitation along the lines around his mouth. “Don't avoid Chanyeol,” Junmyeon advises gently. “Try to stay strong for him.”

Jongin blinks and nods, unable to find any voice in him to reply. The door shuts behind Junmyeon's back and Jongin listens to the ghosts of the apartment, uncertain of his plans for the rest of the day.

He momentarily considers alcohol in the morning.

This is not good.






Winter was ruthlessly cold.

It was even colder to Jongin, merciless winds whipping against the safety of his abode. Jongin had been used to wearing his outerwear indoors, his trusty black jacket worn at all times with his scarf tightly woven around his neck. He wasn't fond of leaving the house during winter but even now, he couldn't live in the apartment. Stepping into his apartment felt like living in an igloo.

Jongin had overused the Junmyeon card too much and his girlfriend, Joohyun, while she's sweet, Jongin couldn't bear to test her patience.

He stared at the heater now, eyes narrowed in frustration. “Work, Goddamnit!” Jongin cursd while kicking his foot against it, wincing when the metal rattled against the heel of his foot.

When Sehun gets back, Jongin seethed through his teeth as he jumps into his bed, he was going to make Sehun pay for every single little penny of the repair for the heater. It was bad enough that he had to work for the holidays, now he had to live in an actual igloo with no source of heat.

Jongin was going to freeze to death and Sehun was going to come back to a dead corpse rotting the whole apartment. Even then, Sehun would blame Jongin for infecting the place with such a horrendous smell.

It was a knock on the door that roused Jongin up from his makeshift fort of blankets and moroseness. He crawled out of the quilted blankets piled on top of each other and shivered when his socked feet hit the marble floor. Practically slugging towards the front door, Jongin barely pulled it open to be hit with more chilly air from outside.

Jongin gritted his teeth and focused his vision on the interrupter of his depressing hour.

“I brought chicken!” the man on the other side of the door grinned, all teeth on show. There was a plastic bag in hand, most likely holding the boxes of chicken. His voice jolted Jongin awake even further and his vision blurred everything else out.

“Chanyeol!” Jongin exclaimed in shock. His lips hurt to move, freezing. “What are you doing here? Didn't you have work?”

“Yixing came back,” Chanyeol explained. He pushed past Jongin, shoulders brushing as he entered the apartment. “I'm off for the weekend and- woah, is it cold in here?” Chanyeol turned around, an arm out of the sleeve of his coat, eyebrow raised, “Turn your heater up a bit, will you?”

Jongin closed the door behind him and sighed bitterly, “Don't bother taking off your coat, 'Yeol. The heater is dead.” He slouched and continued dramatically, “I'm freezing to death. You are invited to the funeral in two days.”

Chanyeol punched at Jongin's arm playfully, chuckling softly, “I'll get it fixed, if you want.”

“You'd do that?”

“Sure,” Jongin could practically hear the shrug in his voice. “Why not?”

Jongin halted in the middle of rustling through the plastic bag of chicken. The smell of seasoned chicken wafted into his nostrils and while on any other day, Jongin would be more distracted by the chicken but today, Park Chanyeol had his entire attention in the palm of his hand.

There was sincerity in Chanyeol's irises and Jongin held his breath, telling himself over and over again that this wasn't new, this was so like Chanyeol to offer to pay for his best friend's heater repairs. Jongin isn't special.

His heart liked to believe otherwise.

“Thank you,” was all Jongin can muster and Chanyeol grinned widely at him, the corners of his lips perked up like a Cheshire cat. Jongin tore his eyes away before he fell even deeper.

“Do you have something warm for me to wear?” Chanyeol tugged on his coat, frowning. “It's too big.”

It was indeed too big and Jongin chuckled at the way it manages to swallow Chanyeol up when he was such a giant on his own. He nodded before diving into his bedroom to ruffle through his (messy) closet and search for a particular jacket. With his eyes set on a black, woollen jacket he got from his aunt for Christmas last year, Jongin emerged from his bedroom with the jacket in hand.

Jongin braked to a stop when he sees Chanyeol lounging on his sofa in a simple white tee and fitted acid washed jeans. He was more familiar with the hoodie-wearing Chanyeol, a hat to cover up the messy, auburn strands of hair, but this Chanyeol? The one dressed with decent wardrobe choices, his auburn bangs swept back continuously by his fingers?

A breath was caught in Jongin's throat as his eyes raked over the length of Chanyeol's body before quietly passing the jacket over to Chanyeol.

“You still have the Star Wars dvd collection, right?” Chanyeol inquired once he has the jacket on. It was the perfect fit on him unlike how baggy it is on Jongin.

Jongin quirked an eyebrow, “Is that what you came over for? Star Wars?”

Chanyeol's face contorted into a frown, whiny. “Sehun has the entire collection. And I bought you chicken to compensate.”

Rolling his eyes, Jongin swivelled around again to duck into Sehun's bedroom. Ignoring the banner of 'No intruders allowed!' crossed against the door, he trespassed into Sehun's room, striding straight for the dvd cabinet which is Sehun's one and only pride. Gathering all of the Star Wars dvds in his arms, Jongin carefully padded out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him with a click.

Chanyeol was already opening the boxes of chicken. He had somehow stolen the cola from the fridge and there were two glasses filled on the table. Jongin placed the dvds, leaving Chanyeol to sort through and watch whatever he wants. In the circle, Jongin isn't quite the Star Wars geek (unlike Chanyeol, Sehun and Junmyeon). He merely enjoys a guilty pleasure of anime which he shares with Kyungsoo but that's it.

It doesn't mean that Jongin's ignorant to the sci-fi series.

He has probably watched the series enough times to last him until his afterlife, reincarnation even. With Sehun around all the time, Jongin cannot escape the Star Wars theme starting up in the background almost every single time Sehun's free from whatever endeavour he has outside. Once Jongin tried to hide the dvds behind the washing machine and Sehun almost castrated his cock off.

Jongin brought out the blankets from his room because the cold was kicking into his bones. He wrapped a quilted one from his mother around his shoulders and sat cross-legged with his back against the sofa. His eyes were much more focused on the chicken wings than the screen, the sauce sticking to his fingers.

With Star Wars as the background noise (well noise to Jongin anyways), silence fell upon them comfortably. Jongin chewed away the bits of chicken, cleaning the bones effortlessly. Instead of watching the movie, Jongin found himself sneaking a few peeks at Chanyeol, chuckling softly at how invested he was in the movie no matter how many times he had watched it.

“You said Yix-”

“I've been th-”

Both of them turned around, sheepishly smiling when their sentences ran into each other unexpectedly. Chanyeol chuckled, the small dimple deepening, “You go first.”

“Well...” Chanyeol changed his focus to Jongin, the film in the background all forgotten. “I was just going to ask if Yixing's back permanently?”

Chanyeol made an 'o' shape with his mouth and laughed, “Yeah, kind of. I'm back to being his back-up teacher but the elementary is offering me science class with the kids.”

Jongin almost spat out a piece of chicken meat. He blinked in surprise, exclaiming, “That's great, 'Yeol!” He trailed off with the excitement simmering, “Right...?”

Chanyeol nodded, his Adam apple bobbing in nervousness, “I'm just a bit anxious about it. Science?” Shaking his head, he sighed.

Jongin nudged Chanyeol with his elbow, cracking a grin to lift the tension off his shoulders. “You'll do fine.” Jongin assured the giant. “I'll come by to visit and check that you're not setting off any fires.”

Chanyeol lodged a punch on Jongin's arm but he missed it by an inch when Jongin foresaw it. Doubling over in laughter, Chanyeol eased into a slow smile, “Thanks.”

Putting down the chicken, Jongin leaned back into the sofa cushions and sucked on his forefinger, the sauce sticking to his lips. “So what did you want to talk about?”

If Jongin paid attention, he would have seen the way Chanyeol's back straightened at the question, the way his eyebrows are forming a crease in the middle, the way his lips part and close, trying to piece the words together.

But all of this went unseen as Jongin languidly propped his arms on the sofa and paid attention to his sticky fingers.

In the middle of licking a strip of sauce on Jongin's finger, Chanyeol interrupted his thoughts, a knife cutting into the silence, “I've been thinking about marriage. With Baekhyun.”

A pin dropped in the distance.

Jongin made a startled noise, accidentally biting too hard on his finger. He winced out too loudly, the red mark marring his skin, screaming crimson at his stupidity. Jongin didn't turn around, keeping his head low whilst cradling his finger with the throbbing pain shooting straight to his head. From the bite mark or Chanyeol's words, Jongin wan't quite certain.

“That's...” Jongin's voice cracked on the last syllable and he clears his throat, attempting a smile to send Chanyeol's way. His heart almost sunk at the look of concern covering Chanyeol's features. It was too delicate. “That's great.”

And it was great, Jongin forced himself to believe it. Baekhyun has been with Chanyeol for four years now, it's about time too.

It's about time that Jongin accepts it too.

“Do you think so?” Chanyeol asked, quiet. He's only quiet when he's serious and there's a look of worry on his face. He's overthinking it too much like always, because that's Park Chanyeol. He thinks too much about every single thing that matters to him and holds his breath for far too long before jumping in.

Jongin smiled wider, it dug into his cheekbones unpleasantly, “Go for it, 'Yeol.”

Chanyeol's fingers rimmed the droplets on his glass of cola, “You don't think he's going to say no?”

“He'd be a fool to do so.”

A moment of silence passed as Chanyeol took his reply in stride. Jongin wondered if he was the first person Chanyeol told this to. He could easily see how nervous Chanyeol was, with how his nails were picking with the threads of his jeans (a habit he has never get rid of since young) and how his eyes were downcast. It was not a far fetched visual of the two at the altar and for a second, Jongin thought the imagery does look sweet.

Jongin could learn to be happy for Chanyeol. And he will be.

“But...” Chanyeol looked up, finally catching his gaze ever since he dropped the bomb. “You'd be my best man, right?”

Jongin blinked.

He wanted to say no for his sanity (he didn't really want to be involved in the wedding that much if it happens) but with one look at Chanyeol's expression, Jongin knew he can't really say it. This was also a habit he can't get rid of since young and it seems that it only applies to Park Chanyeol. There was so much hope on Chanyeol's face and it broke Jongin to say either yes or no.

So Jongin did Chanyeol a favor and only broke one heart today.

“That's what best friends are for,” Jongin assured him. It was his own heart he threw into the ravaging ocean. And also for heartbreaks was what Jongin added in his thoughts.

As the sun set in the brightest grin presented by Chanyeol, Jongin somehow felt better because this was what he had to do. This is the kind of shit he signed up for as a best friend; watching your best friend fall in love, staying supportive throughout, being present at your best friend's wedding, possibly being the godfather of your best friend's offspring. While Jongin doesn't really want to do these things, he can't really say no to Park Chanyeol.

Because it's his fatal flaw.

Because he wants Chanyeol happy no matter what, even though his heart is in danger.

Thus, Jongin raised his glass of cola to knock lightly against Chanyeol's with a forced smile (but he hopes Chanyeol can't tell even after years of knowing him), “Here's to your future with Baekhyun!”

“And to you as my groomsman if this works out,” Chanyeol's smile was softening at the edges and his eyes held a glint.





Baekhyun said yes a week and a half later.

It was all too predictable; Junmyeon passed a twenty dollar bill to Sehun and he cursed at Baekhyun for saying yes. (He made a bet that Chanyeol would have to try two more times to get Baekhyun's approval).

The ring was simple; a silver band with a single white gem in the middle for both of them. Jongin had helped Chanyeol pick it out.

Jongin cheered for them as enthusiastically as he could and Baekhyun kissed his cheek in thanks for him being supportive whilst Chanyeol crushed both of them in a hug.

This was the story that Jongin foresaw to end in flames (only on his part).






Jongin spins in his armchair, scratching absently at the work desk, trying to ignore the reality of the moment.

“Did you call Baekhyun's parents?”

“I did,” Jongin heaves an exasperated sigh. And he really did call Baekhyun's parents. Before leaving his apartment the other day, Jongin had the thought of searching throughout the place for any clues and he struck gold when he found a small notepad where Baekhyun jotted down numbers; a habit that reminded Jongin of his late grandmother. Then, he told Junmyeon that he'd do the task of calling Baekhyun's parents.

Calling Baekhyun's parents at first was a decision he procrastinated for hours.

It wasn't easy at first; Jongin spent those hours at the dance academy, pretending to be immersed in a few routines for his students, but somehow Junmyeon's words kept haunting him until he went back home. Facing Sehun wasn't easy either; he had to keep the secret of Baekhyun's absence all to himself until Junmyeon and him figure it out.

So that was how Jongin snuck out of the apartment with an excuse of visiting the convenience store for a pack of cigarettes and his phone clutched in his hand.

Baekhyun's mother, as Jongin always remembered her from high school days of staying late at Baekhyun's house with examinations pushing their noses deep into their books, was sweet and elated at Jongin's surprise call. He felt bad then, for merely calling about Baekhyun, and promptly saved her as a contact in his phone to call more often. After all, he wasn't a stranger to any of his friends' parents and he should learn to take initiative often.

It took him about three minutes to summarise his life and relay it to Baekhyun's mother but right after, when he asked about Baekhyun, she was nothing but confused (“Isn't he preparing for the wedding with Chanyeol? He called a few days ago and told me that he was doing fine. Is something wrong, Jonginnie?”).

Junmyeon's humming brings Jongin back from the recent memory and he wonders aloud, “Does that mean Baekhyun will return?”

“You read the note. I'm sure he's not,” Jongin reminds the elder. “I just don't get it... Lying to his mother?”

“He probably has his own plan.”

Jongin shakes his head but then, he remembers that it's a phone call. “I don't think so. Baekhyun is naturally impulsive.”

But he's not unreasonable, a voice reminds him. It's the reason why Jongin feels utterly uneasy about Baekhyun's sudden departing letter. Baekhyun never does anything without reason, he may dive in headfirst and get hurt but he's rarely obstructive.

“We've tried every outlet, Junmyeon,” Jongin continues. “What now?”

The answer that comes after a hesitant pause is almost expectant and even though Jongin saw it coming, he still doesn't want to deal with it.

“You have to tell Chanyeol.”

Jongin can almost hear the cracks of Chanyeol's heart when he tells him, the cut gushing out blood from the knife. He has to prepare a first aid kit to patch Chanyeol back together, to piece his heart like a puzzle settling into place. This is the job he has been entailed to.

He holds in his breath. It has to happen sooner or later, there's no way they can keep it from Chanyeol any longer. Jongin hears Junmyeon's breathing on the other end and he bites onto his lip, closing his eyes, feeling the burden of the job weigh on his wide set of shoulders. He slouches inwardly and carries the burden in his heart, keeps his own words locked away.

“I know,” Jongin repeats.

“Make sure you're th-”

“There for Chanyeol, I get it.” Jongin interrupts Junmyeon's expecting words. He lets go of his bottom lip. “I am always there for him.”

He listens to how Junmyeon heave a soft sigh, almost sympathetically. “I know,” Junmyeon echoes Jongin's words back at him. “But he needs you more than ever.”

Jongin swallows thickly, feeling the words he wants to say get choked up in his throat. This is ridiculous and it's all Baekhyun's fault.

“Just get back to Joohyun,” Jongin pokes at Junmyeon's weakness and almost lets out a chuckle at the way Junmyeon sputters on the other end. “I'll handle this.”

“Call me if anything goes wrong,” Junmyeon says quietly. “Call me still afterwards, no matter what.”

Jongin smiles despite the conflicting feelings he keeps deep within whirling like a storm anew. That's Junmyeon, always a step further, always looking out for him. Jongin assures the elder two more times and the call drops, the dial tone beeping in his ear like a reminder of what he has to do.

Even when his phone is lowered from his ear, the tone rings through his eardrums, unable to shake it off.

when you're done with work, let me know. gotta talk to u bout smth

Numbness seeps in and Jongin pretends to not pay attention to his phone as he spins around the kitchen, cooking his meal of the day; nothing else but ramen.

The phone rings an answer and Jongin ignores for the time being.






okaaay i'm done at 5 so come over if u want ^__^




Shivers are constantly wrecking Jongin from the tail of his spine to the nape, clenching around his bones in its cold grip. It's spring but yet somehow, Jongin finds himself face to face with the chilly air surrounding him. He stands before the door to Chanyeol's apartment unit and a few recognisable neighbours have passed by, waving at him with a smile if they do remember him, giving a stink eye if they don't.

It almost feels a bit nostalgic of the time Jongin stood before this door five years ago, thinking he stood a chance after pondering over every single memory in mind. It was stupid, he wish he could have told his younger self then to turn around and head straight home before his hopes get drenched by cold, merciless reality. He even had the entire speech planned out, the entire ordeal in his head to play out, but when the actors came together, it went a little off course.

Jongin left with a bigger crack in his heart that he usually nurses and the apologetic smile on Baekhyun's face haunting his week after.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol were practically inseparable before dating, but once it became official, they became even more insufferable. To quote Oh Sehun's words of wisdom: it was like watching a sitcom every time you're in their presence, with the sickening display of affection and typically dramatic, tear-jerking arguments. Jongin couldn't argue with that, he was (and is) at fault for distancing himself away from Chanyeol.

Jongin's had enough cracks in his heart to last him till reincarnation, there's no need to deepen the zig-zagged lines by witnessing Chanyeol with Baekhyun stuck at the hip (like they used to be).

He takes a deep breath now, his ribcage constricting tighter than earlier, the flood of feelings locked behind a barely sturdy gate. Jongin presses on the doorbell, hearing the echo of it through the apartment faintly. He only wastes one more minute before the door parts to reveal Chanyeol with his mussed up, wet hair from the shower he has clearly taken.

There's a droplet running down the length of Chanyeol's neck and Jongin catches it with his gaze but he looks away, his throat closing up again. “Hi,” he barely gets out, hoarse and unused. “You took a shower.”

“Hey,” Chanyeol smiles at him and this is more difficult than ever. “Come in.” He steps aside, waiting for the younger to slide into the apartment.

Jongin's shoulder brushes against Chanyeol's chest and it's this; these tiny details that Jongin would pore over later like a lovesick idiot and Sehun would cackle at him over it with their alcohol-dipped breaths and late night noise blocking their ears.

“You wanted to talk to me about something?” Chanyeol lifts an eyebrow questioningly. Why won't Jongin's throat open up? Why is the air so dusty in here? “Is it about the wedding? Do we need to practice how to handle the rings?”

If Jongin wasn't so drowned in utter fear, he would be smacking the back of his hand against Chanyeol's arm for making fun of his clumsy tendencies.

The door closes behind Chanyeol with a click and this is it, the end of the end. Jongin's eyes drift from the concern in Chanyeol's irises to the painting of a windmill he bought on impulse from the streets.

Junmyeon was wrong; this isn't right, this is the most difficult thing Jongin will ever have to do and it's saying a lot after he has gone through an immense amount of heartbreaks, a successful proposal and an upcoming wedding he had to be the best man for.

Jongin can't say it like this when Chanyeol's looking so hopeful.

“Have y-you...” Jongin clears his throat when he stutters. He clenches his fists and unclenches. “Have you heard anything from Baekhyun lately?”

Chanyeol rubs his cleanly shaven stubble, “Not really. Luhan did contact me in the morning, asking me to pass the message to Baekhyun to confirm his guest list but I haven't had the time.”

Jongin nods, his gaze is still fixated on the painting.

“I'm just assuming he's busy with work,” Chanyeol shrugs. “Producing a play takes up time, I suppose.”

Then, the worry begins to slip through, “Why... is there something wrong?”

Yes there is, Jongin almost says through heavy breathing. There's two weeks to your wedding and the groom-to-be is missing in action.

When Jongin remains mute, the crease between Chanyeol's eyebrows deepens further, the lines rippling through his forehead. He takes a step closer to Jongin whom automatically steps back, his ass hitting the sofa's arm rest. The concern is even more embedded in Chanyeol's features. Jongin feels like exploding when he pokes at Jongin's cheeks gently, asking more questions.

“Baekhyun's gone,” Jongin finds himself blurting out suddenly. Chanyeol's finger stutters at Jongin's cheek, digging into his skin. “He has been gone for two days. He left a note and I...”

Chanyeol's nail scratches against Jongin's cheek and Jongin finds that the pain doesn't hurt as much as the silence. He's too afraid to look up from his feet, the wooden floor has never looked more appealing to hit his head against. The weight in his chest tugs his heart even lower than before, the air isn't clearer to breathe like he thought, nothing is as he thought.

Once again, for the millionth time, Jongin finds himself shifting his hatred to Baekhyun for his dramatic antics.

“A note?” Chanyeol's voice is so painfully quiet. If the apartment wasn't already quiet, Jongin wouldn't have heard him (or maybe he still would have because he pays attention to every single detail).

Jongin digs into his jacket pocket, pulling out the folded note, crumpled once by his act of frustration. He passes it to Chanyeol silently and he can't bear to watch the emotions splatter against Chanyeol's face upon reading the note. His face is clear as day, the canvas has no idea of hiding its emotions.

Yet, he still sneaks a peek stubbornly, and he causes even more heartbreak for himself.

Jongin could possibly recite the note in his sleep, it's not one of his favourable talents but it haunts him every single hour of the day, a burden he has to carry. Passing it along to Chanyeol isn't something Jongin's proud of, witnessing how the stages of heartbreak splash against his face.

Chanyeol's eyes. Jongin can hear the cracks practically echoing throughout the apartment. His eyes are misty, threatening to fall if he blinks hard. He's biting onto his bottom lip too harshly, Jongin can see the way the flesh is caught between his teeth and the dry skin will peel off, blood will spill and it's not close to the pain he feels deep inside.

The note is clenched at the corners by Chanyeol's hands and he's trembling all over. Jongin stands, unmoving. His hand jerks, almost to stretch itself to comfort Chanyeol but he moves an inch away, and then another inch and away from Jongin. He's shaking his head too almost in disbelief, Jongin's fingers curl inwards.

A tear falls.

“I'm sorry,” Chanyeol says to Jongin but it feels empty, devoid of any emotion. The note is further crumpled in his hands and he spins around in his heel, moving albeit too fast to his bedroom. The slam of the door is deafening in Jongin's ears but nothing is close to the sinking sensation in his chest at the sight of Chanyeol's tears.

No, Jongin wanted to say but his tongue is caught between his teeth. I'm sorry.






Days blur together and time loses its hold on Jongin's consciousness.

But Jongin is not the only one.

Jongin frankly doesn't know how long has it been since Chanyeol locked himself in his bedroom. His guess is three days, could be four days because he's getting missed calls from Sehun and he would only notice his absence on a weekend.

The only signs of life within the bedroom is when Jongin hears the water running in the adjoined bathroom, the rustling of socked footsteps on the wooden floor, a bit of sobbing if Jongin strains his ears. Thankfully, Chanyeol has clean clothes hung up in the kitchen which Jongin leeches off for the time being. He tries to cook simple things; scrambled eggs, toast, ramen, porridge, etc for Chanyeol to eat. Then, he leaves the apartment for a few hours to take a smoke outside the building.

The cigarette pack is running out and so is time.

Junmyeon left a missed call today, Jongin realises when he checks his phone. There are a million text messages that Jongin doesn't bother to open. He scrolls idly through emails instead, barely interested in any of the subscriptions flooding his inbox. There's an email from his fellow colleague, Taemin, and Jongin doesn't bat an eyelash at it.

Jongin rakes through his mind, wondering and worrying like the past few days. Miraculously, Jongin hasn't had a breakdown. He has to stay headstrong after all, it's his best friend breaking down behind locked doors, it's his job to patch him back together if needed.

But it's definitely not easy. At all. Jongin is human, after all.

A tear slips when he blinks and he quickly wipes it away, fixating his gaze intensely on the road traffic before he could choke up in sobs.

Jongin drags out one last puff before stubbing it into the trash bin and heading back into the apartment building. He digs his pockets out for the keys and unlocks his way back into Chanyeol's unit. The lights are strangely switched on, which Jongin would have sworn that he switched off before heading out. The food on the table is actually gone and Jongin notices the dishes at the kitchen sink.

The door to Chanyeol's bedroom opens.

“Chanyeol?” Jongin whispers softly, approaching the latter quietly.

Redness line his eyes in angry, harsh gashes. There's splotches of dried tears on his cheeks. that Jongin wants to rub over, scrubbing all remnants of sadness away if he could. Amidst the bright warning signs, the biggest is the huge grin plastered on his face, resembling the sunny day outside, even though nothing is okay at the moment.

“Jongin, there you are!” Chanyeol shouts excitedly, hugging Jongin tightly. The scent of sleep wafts into Jongin's nostrils, he notices the dryness of Chanyeol's lips. “I have a great idea.”

Jongin furrows his eyebrows. This is...so unlike Chanyeol. Did he somehow experience amnesia whilst he was in there?

The Chanyeol he knows would have been slouching out of the bedroom, curling inwards on the sofa, playing a marathon of whatever movie series he has on demand, drinking through an entire pack of beer without properly thinking. Jongin was prepared to nurse both a hangover and a heartbreak...not this.

“Let's go on a road trip!”

Chanyeol has lost his mind definitely.

There's no other explanation, Jongin thinks, for this kind of craziness. There is a deranged look in Chanyeol's irises and it scares Jongin a bit of how wide his grin is, all his canines on show.

“Chanyeol, are you okay?” Jongin presses the back of his hand against Chanyeol's forehead. Odd. No fever. “Baekhyun's gone. We have no time for a road trip whatsoever.”

The spark in Chanyeol's eyes brighten even further, scaring Jongin more. “Exactly!” he squeezes Jongin's shoulders, the warmth seizing Jongin all at once. “We're going to find him!”

Jongin steps backward but he finds that he can't, due to Chanyeol's tight grip on him. He cocks his head at Chanyeol, assessing his features thoroughly. There are tears at the corners of his eyes, though Jongin isn't sure if it's from recent events or sleep deprivation. Excitement is purely written on the planes of Chanyeol's face, like the day he was planning the wedding date with Baekhyun.

It's so wayward, odd and Jongin is concerned.

He narrows his eyes, “Are...you sure? How about the wedding?”

Chanyeol waves it off, chirping happily, “I called Luhan! We postponed it to the 5th and he's taking in charge of rewriting guest invitations, everything.” He then sighs in a blissful tone. “What a great lad.”

“Chanyeol,” Jongin begins carefully. He measures the weight of his words on the tip of his tongue. “Did you not read the note properly? Baekhyun doesn't want the wedding anymore.”

“But we can find him and I'll change his mind!” Chanyeol's lips turn downwards in a tiny frown. “I can do that.”

Jongin's mind goes blank. Chanyeol looks so dead set on this idea of a road trip that Jongin can't possibly knock some sense into his head, especially when his hope is intertwined with it. Chanyeol looks so hopeful, that it wrenches Jongin's heart to try to remind him of the reality they are in.

He's not that certain if Baekhyun would change his mind after such a sudden departure.

But Jongin can't do anything else.

“So will you be coming along?” Chanyeol smiles at Jongin, all too hopeful again that it breaks him to say no. “Please?”

He even threw in the puppy dog eyes to throw Jongin off his path. Damn it.

“You can never say no to him,” Sehun laughed, adding salt to his wounds even more. “It's one of your fatal flaws.”

Jongin smiles, unease slipping into the uplifted corners. Throwing himself bare onto the train tracks, he swallows anxiously, “Sure, 'Yeol. Anything for you and Baek.”

The smile that Chanyeol is brighter than ever and Jongin mildly forgets what he's getting himself into once again.






“You said what?” Sehun exclaims in shock, before doubling over in loud guffaws. It eerily sounds like the 'I told you so' Jongin had been expecting from the latter and he jumps in before Sehun could even utter those annoying words to inflict more pain on his fresh wounds.

“Shut the hell up, Sehun,” Jongin spits. The migraine is wrecking his head over and the white noise of the traffic isn't sustaining it either. He groans out, “What the fuck do I do?”

“Maybe you can change his mind during the road trip by fucking him?” Sehun jests, Jongin's fist aches to punch the younger. “That'd be fruitful.”

“I'm not like you.”

“Why are you not tired of this?” Sehun recovers from his laughter. Jongin thinks he's not referring to his weak attempts of making backhanded comments at Sehun's life. “Do you find some sadistic joy in all of this?”

Jongin is about five seconds away from throwing his phone into the oncoming traffic but it wouldn't feel as satisfactory as throwing Sehun out of the window.

He rubs at his temples, “I'm not a sadist. I just... I can't sa–”

“You can't say no,” Sehun finishes it for Jongin. “I know that all too well, Jongin. If I recall, I'm the one who said that.”

Jongin kicks at a pebble on the pavement idly. Everything feels so frustrating and ridiculous to Jongin, he doesn't get why he's smack dab in the middle of this. It's not even his fault yet Baekhyun has to make him a part of this somehow. He didn't know what to do after he agreed to joining Chanyeol on the road trip. The taller boy practically shoved Jongin out of his apartment, claiming that he'd come by his apartment in the morning to pick him up.

“You have to pack your stuff and all!” Chanyeol pushes at Jongin's shoulders. “It'll be fun and we'll find Baekhyun, I'm sure!”

Jongin did the next thing he could think of; calling Sehun to cry his woes out to, before actually heading back to the apartment. He doesn't feel like heading back so early, he feels like drinking. Jongin chuckles to himself, this must be him tailing Sehun out for drinks again.

“Why are you being so mighty over this? You should be comforting me!”

“Oh, you know that's not why you called me,” Sehun rubs his knowing tone into Jongin's wounds, it stings far too much. “If that's what you wanted, you'd call Junmyeon or Jongdae.”

“They have lives, unlike you.”

Sehun ignores that remark, “You called me because you wanted to hear my wise and honest advice.” Jongin snorts at that but he strangely can't deny it either.

“If that's what you think... what's your advice, o' wise one?” Jongin asks, finding his lips curl upwards naturally for the first time in days.

There's a pause on the other end and then, Sehun's voice comes through, all too serious and devoid of the playfulness before. “Stop doing this to yourself, Jongin.”

“Stop beating yourself up over Chanyeol. He's not as worth it as you think.”

A heavy lump sits in Jongin's throat whilst hearing these words. It's not quite the first time he hears it; there are times when he's drunk and Sehun's gentle words waft through the pounding noise of their surroundings, hitting him all at once through his drunkenness.

Jongin stays quiet on his end, there's nothing he could say to that and Sehun knows that all too well because he sighs at the lack of response. With a sigh, Sehun merely says, “Come home. There's a box of donuts, you can eat your worries away.”

“Not spiked with anything?”

Sehun snorts, “That prank is so last year.”

Jongin laughs, loud and clear in the evening air and he is smiling softly when he says, “Thanks.”

“For what?”

The pebble skips over a few times before Jongin steps forward, journeying through the bodies rushing to get home. He's shifting through the crowd, the sun dawns on them and Jongin mildly forgets the nightmare waiting for him.

“For being an asshole like always.”






“I was thinking of visiting his parents first. Maybe he's sleeping there or they know something...”

It's ten in the morning.

Jongin usually wakes up at noon or after and on his work days, it'd be a miracle for him to be on time at nine in the morning. His students were never fazed by it, Jongin has guided them enough to keep them occupied and independent if there's ever an obstacle for classes. But here he is, in Chanyeol's car somehow, on a road trip to get Baekhyun back.

Chanyeol showed up at the apartment earlier than expected and Jongin didn't even realise it until he walked out of his bedroom, shirtless and only clad in pyjama bottoms, meeting his gaze across the living room.

Sehun was sitting on the couch, sifting through a fashion magazine with the television switched on as white noise, as Chanyeol awkwardly sits on the other end while scrolling through his phone.

“Jongin, your ride is here,” Sehun had greeted Jongin casually without lifting his eyes off the pages of the magazine. “Get dressed and get out before Chanyeol's cologne chokes me till my last breath.”

Jongin mused, watching how Chanyeol sputtered in surprise at Sehun's sudden jab and turning around on his heel to take a quick shower. He told Chanyeol to just stay in the car and he would seek him out after he was done getting ready.

Chanyeol never looked more relieved.

It wasn't until Jongin was buckled up in the passenger seat, hair still wet from the shower, that Chanyeol announced that he had done the liberty of calling the dance academy to get Jongin off work for a few days.

“I could have done that myself,” Jongin muttered as Chanyeol put the car into drive, accelerating.

“Yeah but knowing you, you would have forgotten,” and as Jongin turned to face Chanyeol with a glare, it slipped away at the soft, fond smile on Chanyeol's face with his eyes looking straight ahead at the road.

Jongin shut up after that.

It's things like this that Jongin can't keep Chanyeol out of his mind, constantly running over every important thing in his head with his clumsiness and tall physique, taking up the capacity of his mind relentlessly. Like his younger self, Jongin can't kick out of his habit of pondering over every little thing Chanyeol says.

It's a tiring habit to keep.

“I've called his mother, 'Yeol.” Jongin says to Chanyeol now when he's turning the car into the highway, already on the way to Bucheon. “I don't think Baekhyun's parents know where he is or what he has done.”

“Still worth a try.”

Jongin swivels around in his seat, the seatbelt digging into his shoulder blades. His throat is becoming dry, it must be the slight heat in the air but deep inside, as he looks at Chanyeol, he knows that that's not the case.

“Do you really think Baekhyun would come back with you?” Jongin didn't want to ask this but he had to. They are already speeding down the highway, too late to turn back of course but not too late to think over it properly.

“He will,” Chanyeol promptly answers. His jaw is set. He hasn't looked at Jongin since they were in his driveway. “He has to,” is what Chanyeol whispers under his breath but it's loud in Jongin's ears.

Jongin notices Chanyeol's knuckles whitening around the steering wheel and he drops his gaze, looking away. His heart feels like it's constricting, sharp edges digging into the flesh. It's not an unfamiliar feeling, but so unwelcoming that Jongin curls inwardly in his seat and sets his head by the leather of the seat.

He clicks on the button, creating a gap in the window to let the wind in. The background noise of vehicles driving by, along with the chirping of the birds, sounds of nature filling his ears and soothing his pounding heart. Jongin momentarily loses himself in nothing and everything at once. The wind rustles his hair, the scent of spring is faintly greeting him.

Jongin has yet to call Junmyeon to explain things, his messages clogging up Jongin's phone with (light) threats. Jongin simply texted, “going on a road trip with cy to find baek. talk to u later”, so he doesn't blame Junmyeon for being so inquisitive and demanding.

If Jongin closes his eyes and slips into the veil of dreams, he could almost pretend that this is a spontaneous trip with the love of his life. Eloping across the country, barely informing anyone else, with only a few nights worth of clothes and necessities in their bags. Drinking in the spring air, spending nights together under the same sky, breathing in each other's heavy gazes.

Jongin can only pretend.

His phone pings with another text message from Junmyeon. Jongin pretends once again, to not see it and closes his eyes. Sleep always comes easy to him (thankfully) and even when there is sweat sticking to his nape, Jongin is dragged under sleepiness and drifts off immediately.

It's rocky, but Jongin is used to it.

He doesn't know how much time has passed by but he is soon aroused from sleep by a hand on his shoulder, gently shaking him. Jongin can barely register the words being spoken to him, let alone his surroundings. He forgets for a second and when Chanyeol's face comes into focus, clearer than day, Jongin remembers all too painfully.

“We're here, Jongin,” Chanyeol declares as his gaze shifts towards the window and Jongin follows his line of vision groggily.

Rubbing at his cheek while yawning, Jongin's eyes adjust to the sunlight streaming into the car, hot on the leather seat. Baekhyun's parents' house stands before them, exactly just like how he remembered. Jongin finds himself unbuckling his seatbelt and pushing the car door open to look at the house properly.

It all feels so nostalgic and Jongin is transported to the memories of his adolescent years where he used to run down the pavement of Baekhyun's house, away from the incoming snowballs, and slip on the too smooth surface. Jongin had made a mess of the pots lining on the sides and Baekhyun had to attend to the disaster whilst Chanyeol pressed a bag of ice to Jongin's stained knees.

It felt like falling all over again in the moment.

And the bruises stayed, permanent till this day.

Jongin stumbles forward, teeth gnawing on his bottom lip. Thinking of Baekhyun's mother, the thought of witnessing heartbreak on a face again, he stays rooted to the ground. He senses Chanyeol stepping closer to him and if he turns, Jongin's sure to see the concern written in the lines of his mouth when he should be directing it to himself.

“I can't go in,” Jongin says. He feels Chanyeol still next to him. “I'll wait in the car, search for a nearby motel.”

A hand closes in on Jongin's shoulder and he braces himself for the look on Chanyeol's face but he's surprised by a smile.

“You don't have to.. accompany me,” Chanyeol assures Jongin but he feels like the wound on his heart is worsening. “I can do it by myself, y'know. After all, it is my fiancée who's missing.”

Saying no, Jongin realises, doesn't feel as good as he thinks it does.

But he stays in the car anyway, does what he promised to (there are lot of guesthouses in the area) and hums a song to keep his mind off reality for a while. Jongin finds it's fruitless when his mind keeps playing flashbacks of the times he spent in Baekhyun's house.

Chanyeol stands before the car for a bit too long, his gaze is too lingering on Jongin and it burns too much. Don't do this, Jongin warns weakly, you are messing with my head again. His lips pull upwards into a reassuring smile, looking upon Jongin's worry and Chanyeol walks away, hands in pockets and his head lower than intended. He presses on the doorbell and Jongin looks away.

Jongin hides, locks the smile away into a box in his mind.

This is not his mess to fix after all.






Baekhyun's mother pulls Chanyeol into a crushing hug, Jongin notices the tears on her face, jabbing him straight in the chest. Baekhyun's father pats Chanyeol on his back and nods at him.

Chanyeol turns on his heel, walking down the pavement, waving back at the couple.

Jongin ducks his head and pretends to sleep.




It is right outside of Bucheon.

Simple and unexpectedly homey, Jongin adapts to the motel quickly. It's an old married couple handling the business and the elderly man chatters with Chanyeol the whole time through the transaction. Their warm smiles welcome them nicely and Jongin's smile is tight when they comment on Chanyeol and Jongin being cute together.

Chanyeol never said anything.

Jongin closes the door behind him and hears Chanyeol plops onto the bed, his entire weight pulling the mattress down. It's cooler in the evening, and Jongin lets Chanyeol tackle the showers first (he has been driving all day, it's only fair). He fiddles with his phone, frowning at the low battery mark and the mountain of messages from Junmyeon.

Jongin's too exhausted to talk to anyone.

So he tries to settle in, lays out his night clothes and drinks a bottle of water from the mini fridge. Chanyeol finally emerges from the bathroom a good fifteen minutes later and Jongin quickly ducks in, clothes in hand, without looking at him in the eye. He pushes the visual of Chanyeol with only a towel wrapped around his waist out of his head, but it's so hard. Jongin bangs his head on the tiled wall and bathes in the warmth, soaking himself in the heat, untying the knots in his bones. He does a quick fix when he can and Jongin sighs out, the tension leaving his hands and cock. The steam clogs up the mirror but Jongin doesn't mind.

“I ordered drinks and some fish and chips,” Chanyeol greets Jongin from his bed. “If you don't want the fish and chips, I can ask to change.”

“Uh, that's fine,” Jongin replies, manually drying his hair on his towel. “But drinks?”

Chanyeol nods slowly, “Yeah... beer.”

Jongin lowers his towel, furrowing his eyebrows, “We're getting... drunk tonight?”

“Hopefully,” is what Chanyeol answers, looking away, dropping his gaze to his phone.

His eyebrows clench even further and Jongin drops his towel, padding towards Chanyeol's bed. Without asking for permission, Jongin settles next to Chanyeol in bed, cross-legged. Chanyeol looks up, the exhaustion is written all over his features. Without even thinking, Jongin's hand is lifted, thumb smoothing out the lines around Chanyeol's mouth tenderly.

Jongin is so focused on the plumpness of Chanyeol's lips, the bitten marks scarring the bottom lip. He almost didn't hear Chanyeol's whisper. Jongin's hand cups Chanyeol's cheeks absent-mindedly and he shifts his focus to the look in Chanyeol's irises, breathless from the intensity. Jongin can almost see himself in Chanyeol's dark brown irises, falling into the ocean, grasping at the corners to revive.

“I'm okay,” Chanyeol whispers again. His mouth moves against Jongin's thumb. “You can't stop worrying about me, can you?”

A chuckle slips and Jongin is so endeared by the sound but then panic settles into his heart and he pulls his hands away, alarmed. His eyes fall to his lap, fiddling with his thumbs. The touch of Chanyeol's lips linger on his skin. Jongin sneaks a peek and he finds that Chanyeol's gaze is unwavering like before.

It burns too much and Jongin wants to be set on fire.

“Room service!” Jongin jumps away from Chanyeol at the sudden booming voice outside of their room. Chanyeol finally moves his gaze towards the door and gets up to attend to it. Jongin finally lets out the breath he has been holding in.

Jongin bites the inside of his cheek, the words Chanyeol said ringing in his ears. Chanyeol's lips. Chanyeol's heavy gaze.

Something, Jongin doesn't understand, can't decipher the lingering gazes, the words slipping, the smiles.

His hands are trembling and when Chanyeol calls his name, he shakes his head. Jongin is reaching for a pack of cigarettes in his bag and he tucks it into his pockets. Brushing past Chanyeol's shoulder, ignoring the jolt in his stomach, Jongin mumbles around an excuse, “Just going out for air, leave the food on the table.”

Jongin steps out and breathes in properly.

Fumbling around in the hallways, Jongin finds a fire escape and hangs around in there. His hands poise over the railing, eyes taking in the splendid view of the busy streets and nebula blue sky. It's refreshing, Jongin takes a swig of his cigarette. The smoke gathers in his lungs and he calmly lets out a puff. It's almost relaxing to be doing a routine he has done for years, a habit that is so hard to break out of when his anxiety levels hit an all high. Jongin can't say he hasn't tried though, but somehow, he keeps returning to the sticks once a month.

Smoke circles around the air in grey puffs, his nose itches from the suffocating scent.

What was he thinking, Jongin's hand clenches around the railing, the metal digs into his palm. Chanyeol has a fiancée, he's chasing after him, Jongin has no place in his life no longer. He is merely 'Best friend Kim Jongin' in Chanyeol's contacts and it'd stay that way until the world caves in on itself and the skies fall upon the ground. Baekhyun is the one, not him.

Not anymore.






The cigarette tastes bitter.

Not as bitter as the sight of drunk Chanyeol.

“You're back finally!” Chanyeol slurs, raising his hands in the air, grinning so wide.

A single lighted lamp shines in the dark, shadows dance along the planes of Chanyeol's face. The yellow hue brings out the cloudiness of his irises, his lips stained with alcohol. When Jongin inches closer, he notices the wetness of Chanyeol's cheeks, evidence of tears spilling out while he was gone. There are beer cans strewn all over the carpeted floor, the room reeks of the cheap beer.

“You're drunk,” Jongin says stupidly. He rubs his palm against Chanyeol's cheek wiping the tears away. Chanyeol merely sits there, watching Jongin with an entranced expression on his face.

Jongin breathes in sharply when Chanyeol leans his cheek against his palm, a hand closing around the circle of his wrist comfortably. Chanyeol's eyelashes flutter, resting against his cheekbones. He looks so serene amidst the chaos going on in both of their lives.

Chanyeol leans closer and closer, Jongin stills. His nose hits Jongin's shoulder, his lips tickling Jongin's collarbone faintly. He feels Chanyeol inhaling deeply, his breath ghosting over his skin, ticklish and hot all at once. Jongin's hand falls, with Chanyeol's fingers still wrapped around his wrist loosely.

“Did you smoke?” Chanyeol inquires, his lips tickle Jongin's collarbone and he's torn between wanting to move away and wanting to stay rooted where he is. Chanyeol sighs against Jongin's shoulder, “I've always hated it.”

Jongin gulps. His voice is so hoarse, throat painfully dry, he isn't sure if it's from the smoke or Park Chanyeol. He tries to not focus on the taller boy leaning on him but he's taking up all of his space again, invading into his boundaries.

“Did you drink too much?” Jongin counters back. “I've always hated it.”

Chanyeol's shaking against him, and Jongin realises that the boy is laughing at him. He hiccups, “I can't help it. I needed my mind off things.”

“Did it help then?” Jongin tries pulling away from Chanyeol to look at him properly but the latter groans loudly in his ears, snuggling closer into him. Chanyeol's other hand wraps around Jongin's waist to keep him there, in his arms. His warmth envelopes Jongin entirely, he inhales the alcohol odour off Chanyeol all too sharply.

Jongin can't move.

Chanyeol hums, it's a lovely sound broken by a few hiccups. Jongin wonders if his eyes are still closed, if he can hear Jongin's heart beating too fast, if he can sense the shivers running down Jongin's arms, spine, everywhere.

“Not really,” a hiccup, a chuckle. “I can never take my mind off you.”

“What do you mean?” Jongin doesn't trust his own voice, it's too soft for the harsh night.

“Baekhyun always thought I was in love with you,” Chanyeol continues, Jongin feels his smile against his neck. He also tastes the smoke on his own tongue, he wants the smoke to cloud his lungs. “Maybe I was.”

Jongin's hand wrenches Chanyeol's shirt, his eyes grow misty. The striped shirt crinkles in Jongin's hold, he can hear the beating of his own heart, it's too loud. Everything is too loud. The sound of Chanyeol humming, the crickets of the night, the rustling of the bed, the choked out breaths from Jongin.

This is why he hates the sight of drunk Chanyeol; he's too honest, too confusing, and it plays with the strings of Jongin's heart, steering him into the direction of hope again when everything is utterly hopeless. His heart is a stupid, fragile thing, stirred by these words.

His eyes drift towards Chanyeol's hand around his wrist, the engagement ring catching the glint of the lamp, albeit shining bright even in the shadows. Reality washes over Jongin in harsh, icy waves, freezing him to his spot.

With a shuddering breath, Jongin pushes Chanyeol away, hands clenching around the front of his shirt. The smile on Chanyeol's lips is sad, his eyes are staring directly into Jongin's. A tear threatens to fall but Jongin keeps it in, keeps his words in, keeps pushing Chanyeol off.

“You're in love with Baekhyun and he's in love with you,” Jongin says, reminding Chanyeol. The older boy falls backwards, head hitting his pillow. Jongin drags his gaze away, biting his tongue. The next words are too muffled for a drunken Chanyeol to hear, “I've accepted it a long time ago.”

The humming begins again and Chanyeol's fingers drum on Jongin's wrist lightly, “Maybe he knows.” Then, Chanyeol starts mumbling something else that Jongin can't hear because everything is ringing in his ears, his vision is blurring too much. Soon enough, the drunken boy falls asleep, snores filling the silence.

Jongin unwraps Chanyeol's fingers from his wrist and pulls the blanket over him. The alcohol on his breath is too reminiscent of older times, memories that Jongin wants to erase but Chanyeol doesn't make it easy.

He almost never does.

Jongin trips before slipping into his bed. He tries to shut his mind off, but his hands are still trembling and coldness seeps into his bones like a familiar friend. His heart is aching too much, his head is spinning, he drinks a glass of water to clear the toxic away.

I can't take my mind off you, either.






It was a farewell party.

To be specific, it was Kyungsoo's farewell party. The boy scored an early orientation at a university way out of the city and Baekhyun wanted a party (everyone else voted in favour, Jongin sat out on it, Kyungsoo just wanted Baekhyun to shut up).

Jongin was seventeen, worrying about college entrance exams too much, pretending to be fine too hard. Baekhyun pulled him out of his house, dragging him to his truck (old but better than Jongin's 'no car' status) and promising him a great night.

Baekhyun was always like that; convincing and charming. Jongin couldn't not fall for his tricks. Even after years of building the friendship between them, days spent in each other's beds and mugging on different exams together, Jongin was and still is immune to Baekhyun's trickery.

.He had a way with his words which explained the crowds around him all the time, the admirers chasing after him but Baekhyun was always indifferent. Jongin could say he looked up to him at some point, was in awe at the way he handled everything. Jongin was one of the admirers, only that Baekhyun took care of him fondly like a little brother. Jongin has older sisters but they never talked to Jongin about anything, they were too immersed in their lives to care for him. He was used to being a solo in the family while his sisters were stuck at the hip.

Baekhyun shattered that when he stepped into Jongin's life.

It was pretty late when Jongin decided to give in, sneaking out of his house at the midnight hour. Thankfully, they were in the summer heat, Jongin was dying out of boredom in the free time he had. Baekhyun was waiting for him outside in his car and Jongin slipped into the passenger seat, frowning.

“Why are you going so late though?” Jongin asked, a question as his way of greeting the elder.

Baekhyun tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, “I will never be early to a party.” He sounded all mighty that Jongin couldn't help but snort, then he remembered what he had agreed to and the frown was back in place.

“It'll be fun!” Baekhyun enthused assuringly, checking the car mirror and fixing his bangs. Jongin stayed quiet, fingers fiddling with the threads of his ripped knee. “Chanyeol will be there so you're not alone after all.”

There was a knowing smile on Baekhyun's lips that Jongin wanted to slap off. He hoped the casting shadows disguised the crimson blush painting his cheeks. It was useless, as Baekhyun chuckled lightly at Jongin before swerving out of his driveway.

When they stepped through the front door, Baekhyun was quickly whisked away by someone Jongin couldn't recognise and Baekhyun threw him an apologetic glance as he spun away, already involved in a conversation. Jongin stood there for a few seconds, letting the loud, pounding music breeze over him with the scent of newly opened beer cans and bottles and socialising.

Baekhyun was right; it was a fun party but Jongin didn't run with that kind of crowd so he advanced towards the porch with a beer can.

He could almost lose himself in the darkness, ignoring the life of the party. Sip after sip, Jongin's beer ran dry and he grabbed a bottle instead to keep him company. It was hot, beads of perspiration tickling his nape and he found refuge in the coldness of the bottle and the passing breeze of the night.

Jongin was taking his phone out, fingers poised to type an SOS message to Chanyeol but speaking of the devil, he slid next to Jongin with a lazy smile, an easy grip on his beer bottle.

“Oh hey,” Jongin jumped at Chanyeol's bass-like voice and relaxed at the sight of him. “I thought you weren't going to come.”

Jongin rolled his eyes, “Like I could ever say no to Baekhyun.”

“We have to fix that, then,” Chanyeol jokes, nudging his shoulder against Jongin's playfully.

There's a bright glint in his eyes, setting fire to Jongin's heart. In the dancing shadows, Chanyeol illuminates with a soft glow, the littlest peek of light skipping over the planes of his face. The alcohol in his system caused Jongin to trip forward, head hitting Chanyeol's shoulder softly. He chuckled, giggled, a hand wrapping around Chanyeol's arm to steady himself.

His tolerance had never been that great, Jongin should have thought twice about drinking through the night.

“I can and will do anything you ask of me, 'Yeol.” Jongin pointed out with an arch of his eyebrow, a corner of his lips tugging upwards. “You know that better than anyone else.”

And it is true; he did and does know that. Chanyeol is Jongin's best friend since childhood in any case, a constant that never strayed far from Jongin. It was almost natural for the tall, elf-eared boy to turn into Jongin's weakness at some point. A weakness that Jongin never liked to admit (except when he's tipsy, it seems).

“Anything,” Chanyeol repeated. He blinked his eyes too slowly or maybe it was just Jongin imagining it because everything was moving too slowly. “You'd really do anything for me?”

Jongin hummed, nodding in answer. He took a swig of his beer, the coldness filling his throat and quenching the thirst momentarily.

“Would you...” for a second, Jongin noticed hesitance in the way Chanyeol bit his lip, the way his eyes fell to the grassy lawn. He watched as Chanyeol inhaled deeply and looked up bravely, a bubble of hope in his irises. “Would you kiss me?”

Jongin tensed.

The words flew over him, the bubble of hope diminishing in Chanyeol's eyes. Jongin could hear the words echoing in his ears and before even realising anything, he was already leaning in, nose nudging against Chanyeol's cupid bow and his chin tilting upwards to meet Chanyeol's lips halfway. Jongin closed his eyes at the first touch, a sigh.

The bottle broke into pieces on the lawn, a loud cry that never mattered to either of them.

Chanyeol's mouth was warm and Jongin inched closer to drink in the bittersweet taste of him. It was intoxicating, everything about Chanyeol was intoxicating; the way he draped his hand around Jongin's waist to pull him closer, the way his thumb rubbed against Jongin's cheek so gently, the way he sunk his teeth onto Jongin's bottom lip, eliciting a moan.

Jongin's hand cupped Chanyeol's jaw whilst the other clutched onto his thigh for stability. He was falling and falling deeper and Chanyeol's lips was too distracting, his tongue moved against Jongin's and he sighed into Chanyeol's mouth blissfully. They kissed and kissed and when they broke for air, Chanyeol continued to kiss Jongin on his skin, pecking on the corner of his lips, the tip of his nose, his cheeks.

Jongin's heart was pounding so so fast and he wasn't sure if it was just him, because with Chanyeol's chest pressed against him, he couldn't tell. Their hearts rocked in tandem, their mouths moved against each other again and they bathed in the warmth of each other.

Soon, Jongin began kissing lazily, sleepily. He pressed one last kiss to Chanyeol's ear fondly and he whispered, “Is that the kiss you wanted, 'Yeol?”

Before he dozed off on Chanyeol's shoulder, he heard the latter breathing out too loudly, “Yeah, it's more than I asked for.”





The morning Jongin awakened, he was in Baekhyun's bedroom. A migraine rippled his head apart but the memories flooded him to the brim, a redness spreading up to his cheeks at the thoughts of Chanyeol. The hangover soon afterwards was the biggest pain he had experienced in his seventeen years of adolescence.

But the universe decided to prove him wrong by throwing him with a much bigger pain.

Heartbreak; in the plainest form of Chanyeol's lips on Baekhyun's with the sunlight illuminating them in the kitchen.

Jongin had never heard a heart crack that easily and painfully.





meet me in the car once you've freshened up. there's aspirin and water on the table for you.

- jongin


The fish and chips was cold in the morning and pretty old, so Jongin only took a french fry and dumped the rest out. He grabbed his bag and phone before heading out of the motel. With Chanyeol's car keys, he unlocked the vehicle and stuffed his bag in the back seat.

It's only past eight in the morning so Jongin takes a walk by the roads, dropping by a convenience store to buy himself a bitter cup of black coffee. It tastes awful, like gasoline and Jongin wonders if it would escalate the fire in his heart. The terrible taste is somehow addicting as he takes sip after sip with his other hand in his pocket.

Jongin takes his phone out and clicks on Baekhyun's name in his list of contacts.

He listens to the dial tone idly, finds some kind of assurance in the sound strangely and when it leads to voicemail, no one is surprised. Jongin leaves a note though, his throat gritty from the awful coffee and early morning so he comes off harsh at first.

Clearing his throat, “Baekhyun.” Jongin pauses, thinking carefully. “I'm sure you're expecting this voicemail right? Well, here it is. I've given in, I'm going to beg you to come back for the wedding.”

Pink hues drift into the horizon with white clouds chasing after, it's all lovely and birds are croaking, singing a morose tune of Jongin's life. It's fitting and he is taken aback by the scenery. He stops at a spot on the pavement, stepping back to let a bicycle pass by. A breeze tickles his chin, rustles through his hair gently.

A sigh, “Come back, now. Wherever you are, Baekhyun, come back and deal with your fiancée.” Jongin feels his voice crack on the last syllable, “Because I can't do it anymore.”

A tone of finality rings through Jongin's ears, signalling the end of his voicemail. Jongin breathes out the last word to the world that doesn't care to listen.

“Please.”





“Is your head feeling better?”

Chanyeol rubs at his cheek absent-mindedly, “Not really.” He slumps forward in obvious exhaustion, “My head is going to tear apart. Why did you let me drink?”

Jongin ignores the last question and ducks into the back seat to grab a bottle of water he had taken in from the mini fridge in the motel room they stayed in. He slams the door and opens the other to the driver seat. Chanyeol surprisingly doesn't protest, merely slides into the passenger seat quietly and buckles himself when Jongin starts the car.

Typing into the GPS of the car system, Jongin answers the question that Chanyeol hasn't voiced out yet, “I figured we should visit Baekhyun's family beach house. Who knows? He could be staying there.”

Jongin sneaks a look at Chanyeol and sees the crease in between his eyebrows. The boy parts his lips, “But I don't think so.”

“Why not?”

“Because...” Chanyeol starts quietly. “It's where I proposed to him.”

Jongin feels the tension rising in the air and he fixates his gaze on the road ahead, gulping the anxiety down forcefully. “Still worth a try,” he repeats Chanyeol's words from before.

Jongin catches Chanyeol mumbling, “Let's see.”

Silence ensues afterwards as Jongin heads towards the destination. He can remember it all too clearly in mind, the proposal taking place at the beach house where he plays a role in aiding Chanyeol with the preparations. He remembers the nervousness breaking out in goosebumps on Chanyeol's skin, Jongin soothing him by assuring him over and over again. He had felt the distance between Chanyeol and him when Baekhyun had said yes, the rippling effect of Jongin's steps backwards.

At the sudden grumble of Chanyeol's stomach, Jongin tells him, “There's some bread in the back if you want.”

Chanyeol throws him a thankful glance, Jongin manages a smile. He initially bought the bread to eat later but Chanyeol is sporting a migraine so he figured. He hears Chanyeol tear the packaging open, chewing on the bread with a sigh of bliss. The smile remains on Jongin's face unexpectedly and he presses his lips together to keep it to himself.

The traffic isn't that terrible at ten in the morning thankfully, so Jongin speeds down the road, passing by places that are vaguely familiar to the memory he has from months ago.

“Take a right turn next,” Chanyeol commands suddenly and Jongin raises his eyebrows in question. “I just want to go to the beach first,” is Chanyeol's reason.

Without further questioning, Jongin takes the right turn and drives straight ahead. They are close by, Jongin notices the shops with surfboards, seafood restaurants and it's sparking the memories in Jongin's mind. They went to celebrate at one of these seafood restaurants, Baekhyun picked up the bill and they left early while the newly engaged couple stayed for a few more glasses of wine.

Jongin drives into the parking lot behind the beach and parks the car in silence. The engine cuts off and Jongin stares at his hands on the steering wheel, unsure of what to do next. Chanyeol makes the next move, opening the door and getting out promptly. Jongin grabs his phone and wallet, pockets them and joins Chanyeol soon after.

The wind hits Jongin immediately and it isn't unpleasant. The smell of the sea lingers in his nostrils, a smell he hasn't breathed in for a long time since. Jongin follows after Chanyeol's back, down the pathway to the beach. Soon, sand slips into his sandals, prickling his skin. He shakes it off but it's useless, more sand fills his sandals and he loses the battle.

The light shade of blue paints the sky, the hues sitting comfortably on the horizon where it meets the darker shade of blue, the waves coursing over the ocean. Waves crash onto the shore, the current isn't too strong for spring, a dip in the sea wouldn't freeze Jongin's bones.

Chanyeol settles down right on the sand, picking up a few stones and throwing them into the ocean carelessly. Jongin watches, eyes following the momentum of the stones, and sits next to Chanyeol. A few centimetres separate them and Jongin pushes aside the urge to lean against the taller boy for warmth. The spring breeze is colder today, and it's not helpful that they are close to the ocean.

“I'm sorry,” Chanyeol begins. Jongin almost didn't hear him over the distracting waves. “For last night.”

“Oh, you remembered?” Jongin couldn't help himself, it comes out bitter. He scrapes the thumb of his skin on the sharp edge of a stone in the sand. It doesn't hurt as much as the ache in his heart. “It's okay. I was prepared to forget about it.”

“No, it isn't!” Chanyeol turns to Jongin, face contorted into a frustrated expression. He looks hurt, but Jongin isn't certain what he has done to Chanyeol to be on the receiving end of this vented anger. “Nothing is okay! Everything is screwed up, my fiancée is missing, my best friend probably hates me for making the same mistake twice and I'm still a mess.”

Chanyeol is breathing heavily now and all Jongin is concentrating on is the meaning behind those words. His breath halts, a scar reopening, a wound fresh once more.

“The same mistake?” Jongin repeats softly. The wind carries his words over with grace but all Jongin is trying to do is keep the fury within. “That's all it is to you? A mistake.”

Chanyeol's eyes widen, his teeth latching onto his bottom lip in realisation of what he has said but Jongin doesn't pay heed to it. His mind is reeling from the revelation, Chanyeol has never forgotten a single thing from that night years ago. He remembers everything, the kisses, the words exchanged, the shared warmth under the same night sky.

Chanyeol remembers and he still decided to throw Jongin away.

A knife sits in Jongin's chest and he pulls it out, choking on his own breath. If all the previous pain he had felt was heartbreak, then nothing amounts to this; the most bloody mess that sits next to him and the knife he has drived into Jongin's chest.

Jongin's fist is clenched, “Sometimes... I wonder why I ever bothered to be by your side.” He laughs, everything is bitter and he needs a cigarette or two now. “It's unfortunate that I'm in love with you.”

Chanyeol parts his lips and closes, clearly speechless. The secret is out, and it leaves Jongin with an awful taste. The waves roar in the background, spring seems so hopeless now, Jongin wants to drench himself in the sea and let it carry him to another shore.

Out of a sudden, Chanyeol's fingers touch the end of Jongin's pale yellow scarf, tugging on it tenderly. There is a soft expression on his features, something that Jongin can't fathom after the anger he has spat out.

“That's truly unfortunate,” Chanyeol agrees and his voice is smooth against the storm brewing in Jongin's heart. “You shouldn't have fallen for a mess like me.”

He gazes upwards into Jongin's eyes and the storm rages on, the fire sizzling and his mind in a disarray. The effect that Chanyeol leaves is never welcoming but Jongin takes it all in any way.

“That took you guys long enough,” a voice interrupts the moment and Jongin tears his eyes away to address the intruder to only be speechless further by the face that looms close to both his and Chanyeol's.

Byun Baekhyun, in the flesh, stands before them with a smile on his face. He looks healthy, put together, like he didn't try to escape an upcoming wedding in a week. A breeze passes by the three of them, sending the ends of Jongin's scarf dangling in the air, messing up Baekhyun's bangs. Jongin gapes at the sight and Baekhyun's eyes fall, noticing Chanyeol's fingers tracing Jongin's scarf, the close distance between them.

Jongin gets up, it feels like the waves are crashing into him, drowning him entirely.

He catches the glint of the gem on Chanyeol's engagement ring on his left hand, and it comes back, flooding to him. The lump rises in his throat and they've found Baekhyun, this is where the road ends. It'll turn around again. Jongin steps back, his lips part to mutter an excuse to leave them alone, and spins around on his heel to exit the beach.

This love story doesn't involve him, it has never been him. He was merely a replacement, a pawn mixed into their lives.

Jongin trips on his way and quickly gathers himself up. He almost scares a kid and he bows low in apology to the parents before scurrying away. Once he reaches the parking lot, Jongin braves himself to turn around and finds that no one followed him, he is alone.

His eyes stray to the beach, squinting to find Baekhyun and Chanyeol, and he sees the couple huddled together, foreheads pressed against each other in intimacy. Jongin's mouth runs dry, he swallows thickly and he finds that the cold is merciless on him again. Goosebumps run down his arms and Jongin rubs his arms together, taking in sharp, short breaths.

Jongin isn't part of this, he isn't needed here, he has to go.

Without even properly thinking through, he turns around, heads towards the main streets and searches desperately for a bus to Seoul. Jongin can leave his things in Chanyeol's car, they are just clothes, a toothbrush and body mist. They are replaceable, like him.

This is not his story to write, to tell, to be in. It has always been Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

Jongin leaves without a trace and once he boards a bus, he lets out the longest breath.

It has never been him.





Days turn into weeks and soon, Jongin misses the wedding day, ignoring the phone calls and messages. He only answers to Sehun whom he knows won't rat him out no matter how much of an asshole he is to Jongin on a daily base, he is still a good friend first.

That's something Jongin would lie about if you asked him though.

Dance has always been his one sanity in life so Jongin takes refuge in it; stepping out onto the streets only to head to the dance academy to conduct dance lessons and have his own dance practices. Jongin has taken the liberty of asking Taemin if he could crash at his place for a while since he's the only friend he knows out of the circle and the only one he knows to stay near the academy. Taemin lets him with the price of Jongin choreographing a piece for one of his upcoming dance competitions.

It's dull, mundane but Jongin doesn't complain about it. It's been a while since he allowed himself this luxury. He throws himself entirely into dance and it feels like a vacation from the life he has known all this time. Sehun calls it 'running away' but Jongin calls it the life he deserved all this time.

“This is not happiness, Jongin,” Sehun had scolded him over the phone. It was almost amusing to hear Sehun preaching. “You know that this is just an escape. A cowardly one.”
Jongin wants to argue that he is happy, though not as obvious, but he insists that he is. This routine that he has adapted to in his life is what he wants. He's not a coward, he just stopped being a third party in the love story that never involved him in the first place. Chanyeol never chose him from the start, Jongin knew that.

It becomes peaceful, almost, to bicker with Taemin when they're both home and work till his bones tire out in the dance studio. Sure, Jongin may have nightmares and there are dark circles ringing around his eyes now but he is living, he is breathing and he can't ask for anything more. Jongin is done with hoping, it's a painful cycle, his heart can only withstand so much pain.

But like all good things, they never last.

Jongin stares at his phone now, at the blinking phone call on his screen. He's counting till ten and it stays there, still blinking, still screaming at him to pick up. Jongin hesitates, his finger hovering over the answer button. He is torn and his impulsive nature takes over, pressing firmly on the answer button.

“Hello?” Jongin says timidly, biting onto his bottom lip so hard he's shocked it didn't draw any blood.

“Were you busy, Jonginnie?” the pet name rolls off on the other end of the phone and Jongin closes his eyes, taking deep breaths to calm his heart. “If I was disturbing one of your dance classes, then I'll call back later.”

“No, you weren't,” Jongin replies. He leans his head back against the frame of the bed, feeling the wooden edge dig into his scalp. “What do you want, Baekhyun?” Jongin asks exasperatedly.

“Nothing!” Baekhyun answers cheerfully. Jongin can almost imagine the smirk on his face when he says that. “I'm just calling to check up on you.”

Jongin sighs out, “You don't have to. I'm fine.” Pursing his lips, Jongin adds, “Congratulations on the wedding. I'm sorry I couldn't be there.”

“Are you?” Baekhyun suddenly asks, all provokingly. Jongin should have seen it coming from the moment he answered the phone call. “Are you really sorry?”

Jongin's nails painfully dig into his palm when he clenches his fist, his knuckles are whitened. “You know why I can't be there but yeah, I am sorry.”

Baekhyun hums on the other end and it's breathy, too close to the speaker. It's loud in Jongin's ears, it almost feels like Baekhyun's next to him, blowing air into his ears like he always does when he tries to annoy Jongin or catch his attention. His heart is suddenly aching, nostalgic for a familiar presence next to him.

“Well thankfully, the wedding didn't happen then.”

“What?!” Jongin sputters out. He gets up too quickly, his back straightened against the bed frame and it hits his spine too closely. He groans out in pain and rubs his tailbone with a frown. Jongin stares at his phone and presses it against his ear again.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun chuckles brightly. It's lighthearted, devoid of any harm. Jongin is confused. “It didn't work out in the end.”

Jongin can imagine the elder boy shrugging in answer and he is further perplexed by the reaction. “But I thought... you had it in control? Wasn't this what you guys wanted?”

He hears the amusement in Baekhyun's voice when he replies, “This was never what I wanted, Jongin. I specifically wrote on my note that I didn't want a wedding, a marriage with Chanyeol.”

Flashbacks of the beach spur in Jongin's mind and he asks quietly after, “What about Chanyeol? Did he not fight for you?”

A laugh bubbles out on the other end of the line, “He did but it wasn't worth it. He realised that it isn't what he wanted either.”

“What does he want then?”

“You,” Baekhyun says simply and it sends a jolt right to Jongin's heart, it has been a while. “And happiness.”
“That's untrue,” Jongin protests, shaking his head even though Baekhyun can't see him. “I was a rebound, replaceable.”

Another laugh rings in Jongin's ears and Baekhyun says, his voice so earnest and sincere that it tugs on the strings of Jongin's heart, “Jongin, dear, you were never a rebound. I was the rebound.”

Jongin's eyes widen but Baekhyun continues, “Chanyeol really loved you since a long time ago and he thought you didn't. I became his rebound and foolishly thought it was real.”

“A part of me has always known that he loves you still,” Baekhyun sighs. “I realised it wholly before the wedding.”

Baekhyun has always thought I was in love with you, Chanyeol had slurred with the alcohol reeking his breath, maybe I was.

All this time. Jongin had thought that all this time, Chanyeol turned to him because he was simply there, always there. He never thought once that Chanyeol would choose him. They've been constants in each other's lives, so tightly woven with each other. Jongin can remember every living memory with Chanyeol, every bruise he brushed against, every tear he wiped with his shoulder for Chanyeol to lean on for comfort, every smile Jongin breathed in, feeling the sun awaken in his body.

How foolish, Jongin almost chuckles out loud, drinking in the revelation. Years and years of memorising Chanyeol and his quirks and yet, Jongin ignores the most important detail. How stupid, he hoped so much and to think that his worth was of a pawn next to Park Chanyeol.

Jongin's the stupid one.

“How about you?” Jongin asks, remembering about Baekhyun. “Don't you love him?”

“I do,” Baekhyun answers immediately. “There's no doubt but I've found someone else and it's different.”

“That fast?” Jongin arches an eyebrow, he keeps the laughter in. Typical Baekhyun, out and charming others and finding himself in a trap just that quickly.

Baekhyun doesn't keep his laughter in, “I've gone through a lot of revelations lately. It seems that we were all foolish human beings in our youth. Especially you and Chanyeol.”

“You don't get to say your version of 'I told you so',” Jongin groans. His heart is pounding against his ribcage, it's a reminder that he's alive and there's hope, bright and promising hope of a future with happiness and Chanyeol.

“Call him,” is what Baekhyun says, so soft and gentle and it makes Jongin smile wider. The fire settles in his heart, and a gentle breeze tickles his skin. His eyes glisten with bliss, Jongin's legs ache to run out of the apartment and into Chanyeol's arms to say all the things he wants to since he was seventeen.

Jongin exhales. His heart feels light.

“I will.”





“Why haven't we gone out on a double date with Kyungsoo and Baekhyun?”

Jongin's eyes narrow at Chanyeol, he flicks a french fry at the taller boy. He answers the stupid question, “Because it's awkward and Kyungsoo hates them.”

Chanyeol's left eyebrow makes a perfect arch in question, as he munches on the french fry that Jongin threw at him, “How do you know that?”

“Baekhyun told me when I asked him before,” Jongin exasperatedly reveals and Chanyeol cackles in laughter.

“This is probably why we're dating,” Chanyeol reaches over to press a sloppy kiss on Jongin's cheek. Jongin scrunches his nose in disgust, Chanyeol kisses him there too. “We make bad ideas and we are both idiots. Perfect pairing.”

Jongin makes a move to flick at Chanyeol's forehead but the boy catches his wrist and holds him there. His gaze is far too intense and Jongin's breath hitches in his throat. There's something underlying those irises and Jongin can't decipher it yet, he is searching and searching for the answers.

They've been dating over two and a half years but to them, it feels like they've been together all this time. It's natural to slide into Chanyeol's chest and rest Jongin's head there like that's where it belongs all the time. Jongin finds that listening to the beating of Chanyeol's heart is his cliché pasttime as a boyfriend, and Chanyeol's favourite is baking in the kitchen (especially when it leads to such a big mess and them kissing the whip cream off each other's faces).

Chanyeol is toying with his fingers now and Jongin's eyebrows furrow in both curiosity and confusion.

“Hey, wh–”

“I have an idea,” Chanyeol suddenly announces and Jongin blinks at that. His mouth closes the gap and he watches as Chanyeol turns his wrist, making his palm face downwards. He digs into the pockets of his sweatpants and pulls out something that Jongin doesn't quite catch at first but when he does, he's breathless, speechless.

It perfectly attracts the light of the room, reflecting off it. A kaleidoscope of colours dances around on the gem, it's stunning and Jongin is immediately entranced by it. Chanyeol's thumb rubs over the edge of the gem and he taps it against Jongin's ring finger on his left hand.

Chanyeol gazes into Jongin's eyes, all too sweetly and beautifully. Love lingers in those irises and it mirrors Jongin's. Chanyeol leans in, his breath ghosting over Jongin's cupid bow, when he asks, “Wanna get married?”

A million thoughts run in Jongin's mind. It's spontaneous, it's sudden and Jongin doesn't even know if he's ready, if they're ready but if there's anything he's sure of is that it's them. It's Jongin and Chanyeol and he's certain of Chanyeol, come what may.

“You can never say no to him,” Sehun had said multiple times and it stays true to this day, a habit that Jongin can and will never break out of.

Jongin says yes.

Prompt #: 16

Title: Electronic Puppy
Word Count: 23k
Rating: PG
Warning(s): none
Summary: Where a little android chooses his potential owner on a subway train. Chanyeol never even had a chance.

Author's note: This turned out rather long - I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! Much love to my beta J!

 

[Log Entry 20161007]

+live protocol+

confirming change in location: south korea, seoul, north-eastern district, subway line 2, "Former Idae" station

  starting script 'potential.owner'

  script running...

  ...

  confirming newly entered passengers - result: 8

  filtering out category "inconvenient_age" - result: 3

  collecting "social_habits"

  interpreting...

  result: 1

analyzing range of options...

cancelling the process

  reason: main subject is leaving

  run option "Follow him"?

...

run "Follow him"

...

_

 

People were almost desperately blocking the way to the door, refusing to make way or, god forbid, step outside for a second, driven by the irrational fear of being left behind at the wrong station. Nothing new here. Park Chanyeol wasn't too happy about squeezing himself past strangers, but he was used to it by now, murmuring half-assed apologies under his breath. He didn't even take out his earbuds at this point, letting heavy drums orchestrate the situation, painting it in a much more dramatic, almost comical light.

With a relieved sigh, he stepped out into the fresh air - which was technically just as artificially cleansed as the air he'd been in before, though the subway's poor system was usually unable to keep up with the sheer number of people. But Chanyeol wasn't educated enough to complain about their use of taxes. Chanyeol was a simple person and stretching out his arms like this was actually really good-

 

Someone stepped, no, skipped into his vision and Chanyeol flinched back with a quiet yelp, arms freezing in the movement above his head. It was a young boy.

"Good day, Mister."

Oh. Not an actual boy, an android. Nowadays, you rarely found kids showing this level of respect for anyone, really. Besides, the clear enunciation was a dead giveaway. Chanyeol sighed regretfully, because he was a social person like that.

"Sorry, not interested," he said simply, but not unfriendly. There were many people who deemed it socially acceptable to be an ass towards androids, simply because they weren't human at the end of the day, but Chanyeol was also the type to apologize to a pebble he tripped on, so being rude to an android was an absurd concept to him.

The little android seemed to shrink a tiny bit at his rejection, but quickly caught himself.

"You didn't hear my request," he stated with a hint of something in his voice, something that told Chanyeol he was aware of social norms, and able to pinpoint Chanyeol's behaviour as rude. He resisted another sigh, feeling instant guilt. It wasn't that he was busy in any way - but his working shift had been pretty exhausting, and he was hungry.

"Please hear me out. I need help," the male android continued, and god, Chanyeol was such a sucker for puppy eyes.

"Fine," he said, one hand loosely playing with the strap of his backpack, "tell me what you need."

Chanyeol was being an idiot, and he knew it. It was a known fact that people liked to use androids (especially innocent-looking ones) to scam people. This one was beautiful without question, though not in the conventional way. Maybe a deliberate choice, in order to give people the illusion of not being scammed. Still, there was the case of androids actually seeking help, and rejecting them would be like rejecting a hurt rabbit.

The boy blinked up at him with his strangely lively brown orbs.

"I need a new owner."

Chanyeol looked at him, mind wiped blank. Whatever this meant, it was probably trouble and he should leave-

"You appear to be the best potential owner," the boy continued, obviously hurrying because he could see Chanyeol preparing his rejection, "you suspect I have ill intentions, and in order to prove myself, I will gladly give you my core code and have you confirm it yourself."

At this, Chanyeol grew wide-eyed and quickly reached out to leave one of his hands hovering over the android's shoulder.

"Don't do that!" he said in a hushed voice, "what if someone will overhear?"

The core code was the password only owners ought to know, for it gave them free access to the most basic and essential parts of an android. Making fine adjustments to their character, but also tampering and destroying its inner workings - as long as you had the password, the android would voluntarily let it happen.

To his surprise, the android smiled, plush lips stretching into a small grin.

"See? You're really kind. You're the perfect owner."

Before he had any chance to react, the android leaned up on his toes, whispering three letters into his ear.

"K-A-I. That's the password."

Chanyeol had never had an android whisper into his ear before, and though he obviously didn't breathe, he still radiated a certain warmth and he felt the tiny vibration of his voice. No surprise, coming to think of it. Perfectly unperturbed, the boy returned to his original stance, looking both earnest and determined.

"Please be my owner. I'm very low-maintenance, and I'll do my best to support you. It's highly likely that you won't regret it."

Really now, all of this was so surreal, Chanyeol couldn't help shaking his head at the whole situation. This wasn't something he could decide on a whim. But people were starting to stare for real, and the thought of someone getting a hold of this easily-trusting android made Chanyeol feel protective already.

"Let's just go to my place for now," he began, eyes roaming the not-so-subtle stares of a nearby group of girls who looked very interested in the pretty thing.

"I'll think about it there. I can't make decisions on an empty stomach."

The boy smiled, quickly scampering after him with his shorter legs.

_

"Look. I'm sure you would be a really great help, but the thing is," Chanyeol began, all but scarfing down his instant noodles, "I don't have the financial means to take care of you. I'm just a poor part-timer. This is all I can afford at the end of the month."

The little android sat across him at the low table, legs orderly folded and attentive gaze trained on him.

"My hardware is very basic, and my sensors detect nothing to be in any state that needs maintenance," the boy replied naively. Chanyeol paused his attack on the meager food in favor of a hearty gulp of chilled water, neutralizing his taste buds.

"Not right now, they might not. But there will be a need for maintenance in the future, and what if I can't afford it? Who was your previous owner, anyway? You don't seem to be in a state suggesting mistreatment," he asked, quite awkwardly. Was this a sensitive topic? Was he an idiot for being sensitive towards an android?

Sure, Chanyeol saw androids everyday, mostly as shop assistants or otherwise privately owned. He paid them the same amount of politeness and respect he had for any other person, since there were a lot of emotionally-driven androids. It was just nothing to be picked up at a mere look; and to Chanyeol, that wasn't all that different from seeing strangers on the street - you'd never know how much of a thing a simple smile or frown could mean to a stranger.

 

This particular android cocked his head to one side, eyes roaming the room as he internally checked his memory. He sure had a lot of human traits.

"It does not feel like I've been mistreated. My previous owner deleted my memory though, so I have no chance to find him again."

Huh. So... he'd been abandoned.

Chanyeol swallowed hard and directed his gaze back to his soup. Who would leave behind a fully-functioning android like that? To top it off, this one was very elegant in the way it held itself, not to mention beautifully crafted (at least visually), meaning that he didn't look cheap either, so why? He appeared to be rather sentient, too, from what he could tell so far. This wasn't a functioning device like a toaster, this was a living being.

"Maybe I was not to my previous owner's liking. My skills might have been not satisfying, or maybe something really is broken and I am unable to detect it..." the android mumbled, looking rather dejected. The fact that he told him this guess even though it could lead to Chanyeol not keeping him, was probably what gave him the final push.

"Alright," he sighed, shifting the bowl away from him. Brown eyes immediately blinked up at him, widening a little at the possible implications he was no doubt trying to process right now.

"I'm not promising anything, but if I can't keep you, I'll at least try to help you find a new owner. Maybe we can track your old one, too. It might have all been an accident, right?"

The boy blinked.

"This possibility exists," he stated simply. Chanyeol shot him an encouraging smile.

"Good. How about we take you to a good tool workshop tomorrow? See whether you're registered somewhere? And get you checked up, too, while we're at it."

The android smiled, and his facial features looked so human that it easily infected Chanyeol.

"Thank you, that's really kind. I'm assuming you would not want me to call you master, or anything similar," he stated, the same open, curious look returning in a flash as his voice lifted in an unspoken question. Chanyeol shrugged him off as he staggered to his feet to place the bowl in the sink.

"God, no. Please don't do that, it would be weird. I'm Chanyeol. Park Chanyeol, but first name is more than enough."

"Okay. Chanyeol," the boy repeated, more to himself than anything, it seemed. He was about to turn on the water and wash the accumulated pile of dishes (because for some reason it flustered him to let this android see the overall messy state of his neglected apartment), when said one all but appeared at his side, scaring the hell out of him.

"Can I help you?"

Chanyeol hit his head on an opened cupboard and winced, feeling the tension running down all the way into his toes. The boy was really, really quiet, too.

Immediately, he had a hand hovering over his head.

"Are you hurt? Should I check-"

"No, no, no," Chanyeol quickly reassured him, taking half a step back as he rubbed his head. "Fine. I'm fine. You don't need to do the dishes either-"

"Oh, I can do this type of things, don't worry. And I'd love to be useful. Please."

Chanyeol looked at the hopeful(?) eyes through his teary ones, and really, what was he supposed to say?

A few minutes later had them both peacefully doing the dishes, with the android drying them. He had evidently done so before, though it was just as obvious how the action was being fine-tuned throughout, adapting to be as effective as possible. Maybe it had been awhile since he'd done this? Do androids work like this?

 

Either way, Chanyeol was more than a little fascinated by the swift and precise movements of his fingers. Only after watching him all but polish a glass into a state that was probably cleaner than when he'd initially bought it, Chanyeol noticed that he still needed something to call him.

Jongin, the little android replied with an easy smile. He seemed happy that Chanyeol was willing to roll with this, instead of giving him a new name.

_

It was a little odd, riding the subway with Jongin. It was Chanyeol's day off, but this was a weekday, and it wasn't even noon, meaning that the subway was rather empty. Most of the other passengers were old ladies, who eyed both Chanyeol and Jongin rather obviously. It made him mildly uncomfortable. No doubt they were suspecting Jongin was some sort of sex toy, because old people were like that - any pretty robot that was out on its own was probably made for erotic fantasies of rich people, according to them. Chanyeol knew it from his own experience - the information counter at the big supermarket he worked in, had an android supporting the female employee. It was definitely an android capable of reading and interpreting emotions, though she was a little rickety and sometimes, her reactions were a little off (courtesy of their store being an almost forgotten branch). Nonetheless, most people manning the information counter had grown attached to her, and M-671 had become Emma. Sure, adults wouldn't spare her a glance, but especially old people had become quite fond of her, even talking to her once in awhile.

All those things are just robots, you know. Alright, Emma is a little different, but that doesn't count.

It was a tiny step, but it did count to Chanyeol. A tiny hint that humanity retained at least a shadow of their ability to learn and advance.

 

Still, to those people eyeing him right now, he was probably a spoilt kid with a bunch of questionable fetishes. He tried to ignore them, whipping out his phone to lazily check whether his friends had posted anything (Chanyeol did have an extensive online main account linked to a three digit number of people, but he hadn't opened that one in ages). Jongin didn't say anything. Neither did he fidget, like Chanyeol did. Instead he sat there, completely still. Occasionally, the subway would rock his undoubtedly light body, but he was always quick to adjust his weight. His eyes were either trained on the ground or assessing the world outside through the extensive windows. Maybe this was normal, maybe androids were passive like this? Still, Chanyeol was an all-around talkative and curious person, so he finally spoke up, despite the stares they got.

"So... are you, like, thinking about anything right now?" he asked tentatively, eyes flitting from the phone screen to Jongin. The android turned towards him, without breaking his orderly pose.

"Yes," he said simply. Chanyeol looked at him encouragingly. Waiting. Jongin blinked, seemingly getting the hint.

"You. I'm thinking about you."

Despite the ridiculousness of it all, Chanyeol blushed, especially knowing that people were witnessing them right now.

"Me? Don't say stuff like that, it sounds like you're hitting on me!" he complained with a playful whine, purposefully keeping up the smile, to give Jongin a hint. Androids tended to look for a smile first.

"I have no intention to hit you, don't worry," Jongin earnestly replied, and Chanyeol snorted.

"It was a figure of speech."

"I know."

Chanyeol couldn't help blankly staring at the android. Jongin still smiled that supposedly naive smile.

"You're playing me," Chanyeol incredulously stated, and Jongin dared to grin.

"You played me first."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Chanyeol stored his phone away.

"You're much sneakier than I thought. Seriously though, why are you thinking about me? Planning to scam me, after all?"

It was a rhetorical question, for Chanyeol had indeed confirmed his core password the evening before. Jongin still shook his head, fingers twitching in his lap at a particularly harsh turn that had Chanyeol secure his position by grabbing a nearby handle.

"I'm analyzing the input you gave me."

Misinterpreting Chanyeol’s raised eyebrow, he elaborated.

"I'm trying to understand you as well as I can from what I have now."

He mouthed a silent 'o', signalizing his understanding and waited if there was more to come. Sensing this, Jongin followed along.

"So for example now I know that you're playful, and you're not easily offended by an android displaying emotions or even defiance. You're encouraging it, which I like, because I have a wide range of emotions."

The awe on Chanyeol's face was probably rather obvious, but hearing the immediate, accurate analysis of their short encounter was very interesting indeed.

"Also your eyes were smiling when you were baiting me. That was really pretty."

Pretty? Was the android trying to flatter him?

Aware of the fact that little Jongin was able to read most of his emotions right off his face, he tried to keep it neutral and thanked him with a polite smile. Maybe he should be a little put off by the amount of insight, maybe even a little scared. Maybe he should suspect the android was trying to actively manipulate him into keeping him. But Chanyeol wasn't that quick to judge, and made sure to put him at ease by sliding a little closer, until their sides touched.

_

"Artificial Dreams" was a tiny, independent droid workshop downtown; a building so old it was mostly made of wood and stone, squished in between an apartment complex and another, shabby building that supposedly offered detective services. It was by all means not one of the big chains, meaning that the actual store inventory and prices weren't as reliable, which could be both a good or bad thing, depending on your situation and timing. But people rarely stopped by to actually buy tools or parts. Rather than that, they bought time - the time of the owner Kim Minseok, who was not only an excellent craftsman, but also Chanyeol's friend from university. They had even roomed together for a semester or two. Those had been some tough times, but at least Minseok was the only person to ever manage disciplining Chanyeol into cleaning. Without him, he'd probably still be unable to clean a window, and convinced that one type of towel was equally suited to clean every surface.

"Is this place certified?" Jongin asked as Chanyeol casually pushed open the rather narrow door, always one step behind and to his left, like an afternoon shadow.

"Don't worry," he called back, holding the door open for the android, who didn't have to duck his head, unlike him, "the owner is a friend of mine. He knows what he's doing. He won't hurt you."

The old-fashioned doorbell tinkled merrily, and immediately sparked the attention of someone. A head popped out of the backroom, revealing a mop of messy, auburn-colored hair that was held back by a simple band, and familiar, porcelain-colored skin dotted with specks of oil.

"Chanyeol, long time no see!"

It was a little difficult, maneuvering through the cramped shop clearly built for people who were Minseok's size at most, but Chanyeol managed not to break off any of the devices dangling from the ceiling. A fleeting look confirmed that Jongin was still obediently following him, his eyes now darting from the interior to Minseok.

"Yes, it’s been forever since you allowed me in here," Chanyeol confirmed, patiently waiting for the other to shrug off his apron so they could share a quick hug. "I forgot how tiny this place is," he added. He was close enough to the ceiling to smell the layer of protective lacquer Minseok had undoubtedly repainted not too long ago. Because really - this was the cleanest tool workshop mankind had ever seen, including the fancy retail chains. Chanyeol had the vague idea that this was likely thanks to his earnest apprentice Yifan. Technically speaking, that guy only had to fix a sponge onto his head to clean the ceiling, so he definitely had that going for him.

"Then you also forgot that I call this the perfect height, didn't you?" Minseok remarked, pulling the elastic, black band off his head to run a hand through his hair, lightly massaging the strained roots. "Okay, is this our lost kitty?"

Chanyeol turned at the same time Jongin obediently stepped forward. Minseok nodded to himself with a low hum of approving wonder. Jongin didn't flinch as the other leaned in close like a curious artist scrutinizing another's canvas. Still, he seemed a bit stiff.

"I definitely see where you're coming from. He's beautiful, but not in the typical SP way. You're not even equipped in that area, are you? Can I touch you?" he asked Jongin, who threw a questioning glance at Chanyeol. Even he knew that SP stood for Sexual Pleasure, or, in this case, sexually pleasing. He had obviously noticed that this particular android had nothing similar to genitals, but instead of replying, he nodded at Jongin, encouraging him to talk to Minseok himself. He had positively responded to Chanyeol leaving him room to express himself before, and Chanyeol was curious to see him do so.

"No, sir. I'm not. And yes, you can."

Minseok had nothing but a small smile for the honorification, as he carefully cupped the other’s cheek, fingers disappearing in the mop of brown curls. It looked less like an examination and more like a fond gesture, though Minseok made no effort to hide his interest in the other’s hair and skin.

"Don't 'sir' me, just Minseok is fine. After all, Yeol and I are friends," he hummed distractedly, rubbing soft circles into his cheek. Jongin lowered his eyes, and his posture relaxed. Something about the touch definitely soothed him and sparked curiosity in Chanyeol.

"Yeah," Minseok breathed as he carefully turned Jongin's face to see his profile, "not the most amazing materials, but above average and harmonious. Definitely exotic."

He retreated, and Jongin blinked in something akin to confusion, before stepping closer to Chanyeol.

"Let's see what we can find out about you, shall we?" he asked, voice purposefully open and friendly, as if talking to an alarmed child. Again, he looked over at Chanyeol for confirmation first, and Minseok chuckled.

"You really like this guy, don't you?" he asked, mirth clearly visible in his eyes, and it sparked a sense of defensiveness in Chanyeol.

"Well, he did say I'm his temporary owner, so he's just being really loyal, right?" he stated firmly, one hand already snaking around to rest on Jongin's shoulders.

Minseok huffed in amusement at the sight.

"Oh, Chanyeol. You have zero clue, and yet you're already so... into this. Anyway, let's go to the back."

He turned away, and with a pout, Chanyeol followed, complaints about not being taken seriously on his lips.

 

Minseok ignored them and directed Jongin onto a wooden stool near his work bench with a good-natured smile. This room was even more cramped with all sorts of tools Minseok was effortlessly handling as he reached for a simple scanner, tapping away at one of his tablets.

"Are you uncomfortable, with all these... parts lying around?" Chanyeol asked, voice almost as careful as the way he was folding his limbs, cramming himself onto the second stool in a corner. He really felt two times too tall for this room. Jongin's eyes quickly took in the workbench where numerous, complex looking parts were strewn about, thankfully nothing coated with skin, because those would always leave Chanyeol's naive mind mildly disturbed. Jongin's eyes sought his again, and he tilted his head.

"Are you uncomfortable beside a shelf of books? Or paintings?" he asked right back at him, and Chanyeol blinked questioningly.

"No?"

"All these parts piece together emotions and functions. If you added them to me, they might do good or bad things to my way of thinking and acting. It's not very different from a book," he said calmly, though he certainly behaved a little more guarded in Minseok’s presence, who was smiling as he typed on his tablet.

Chanyeol felt a little stupid, and was left with something to ponder while Minseok brushed the android’s hair aside and tugged a little at his shirt's collar to scan him and get access.

Jongin obediently ducked his head a bit, showing nothing but patience. A dull beep later, Minseok encouraged the android to sit up straight again.

"Alright, I need the passcode."

Jongin only hesitated for half a second.

"1994-0114," he spelled out slowly, and Chanyeol blinked.

"That's not the same code you gave me."

For once, Minseok was distracted from his work, flicking the back of Jongin's head with an incredulous laugh.

"You actually gave him your core code? Man, you're a brave one. This guy here barely knows how to handle a microwave. Knowing Chanyeol, he might accidentally kill you!"

Chanyeol pouted and was ready to defend himself, when Jongin beat him to it.

"I don't think he will."

Decisively mollified by Jongin's trust, he childishly stuck out his tongue at Minseok. The mechanic only shook his head, and went back to typing. Chanyeol wasn't shy about showing affection, so it was no secret that he thought an earnestly working Minseok was 'super cool', as he liked to call it. Indeed, his clever fingers were all but flying over the user interface, as he skimmed whatever it was showing him.

Once in awhile, he hummed, and by the way he tilted his head Chanyeol knew whatever he was seeing was at least mildly interesting.

"Can you see whether he's registered?" Chanyeol asked hopefully, only to be shot down immediately by a click of Minseok's tongue.

"Nah. Definitely not registered. He's not exactly a serial product, which shouldn't be too surprising by the looks of him. Anyway..." he trailed off, and with two taps and one slide, the nearby whiteboard lit up slightly, displaying a row of numbers and figures. Both Chanyeol and Jongin looked at them curiously, as Minseok prepared to explain and interpret them.

"I'm not gonna bother explaining those numbers to you," he began, looking solely at Chanyeol.

Okay, fine. So no explanation it was.

"They're way too complicated for you. I'll simplify it - you love video games, right?"

Comically, both Jongin and Chanyeol nodded in unison. Minseok's lips twitched, but he didn't comment on it.

"If you design a character, you do it by setting parameters, right? Most of the time, you have a limited number of points. So you can decide whether you want your character to be either brave and extroverted, or careful and introverted. Essentially, we judge an android's nature and character just like that, by measuring the parameters they're given."

They nodded again, and Chanyeol leaned forwards, watching the numbers with new-found, and yet completely aimless awe.

"Jongin here," Minseok began, moving a few of the charts back and forth, "is definitely a private project. One hundred percent custom made. You can see it in the unconventional and exotic way his parameters are set."

Chanyeol tried very hard to think of the numbers as something special.

"It's not like his skills are extraordinary. He isn't as smart as those androids used in companies, nor are his emotions as finely crafted as the ones of a partner android. This doesn't mean that he's performing weakly, though. Not at all."

Chanyeol didn't understand it just yet, but he's learned that Minseok was a rather good tutor, and that he was probably going somewhere with this, so he waited.

"You see, you gotta ask yourself what purpose his creator had in mind, if you wanna interpret the data. What did he or she expect sweet Jongin here to do? Obviously neither being a lover nor a factory worker. There's no answering it without consulting the creator, but the values are giving me the vibe of a Sentient Companion. But... even in that case, they're rather unique."

He trailed off, tapping a finger against the frame of his whiteboard, back-pedaling a bit in his explanation.

"Sentient Companions are usually pre-equipped with a range of morals. This one has a lot of leeway to set the morals himself, so to say. In order to do so, he has immense observation and interpretation skills. I mean it, these numbers are almost ridiculous, and I have no idea how his comparably primitive system keeps up with that input. Either way, all the values determining how he actually interprets the information... are obviously manually set, every single one of them. Complete handiwork. It would take a year for me to perfectly interpret them all."

Chanyeol nodded vaguely. So Jongin was like a personal work of art, with all its strengths and flaws. A perfectly unique android. Said android seemed mildly interested, too, eyes skimming the numbers.

"It's an obvious attempt at trying to coax Jongin into developing his own personality. It's not unheard of, but usually, you'd put limitations in there somewhere - prevent the android from developing hate, violent tendencies and such. They are there, but seriously pushing it as far as it's legal. He can definitely get annoyed, but not to the point where he throws you out of a window. A limitation I wish I had, from time to time," Minseok added with a side glance, just to get a protesting 'hey' to tell him his useless friend was still listening.

"So if there's something broken within the parameters, you wouldn't be able to tell?" Jongin suddenly asked, and Minseok's eyes flitted back to the android he was talking about, now addressing both of them.

"That's basically correct. I'm sorry to disappoint you with both the registration and the analysis. I know you came here because you think so highly of me, Yeol. The really big places might be quicker, but they'll also probably cost a fortune, because he's not one of theirs-"

"No, no, don't say that!" Chanyeol cut him off with hurried hand gestures, "you're already doing all this without charging me. This actually helped a lot. I mean, at least we know about the owner being a private person and that he's kind of alright."

Minseok tilted his head from side to side with a sympathetic grimace, the scanner now uselessly dangling by his side.

"Ah, I wouldn't go that far. I can't tell you stuff like this just by looking at the numbers, no one is that good. Still, I'll copy a few crucial parts and take a further look at them whenever I'm free. I'll let you know if I find anything."

"Thank you," Chanyeol said, enveloping his friend in an overly eager hug, accidentally sending a few parts crashing to the ground. Without a word, Jongin got up to quietly retrieve the items.

"I owe you, man."

"I think we're past the stage of owing each other stuff," Minseok only chuckled, good-naturedly patting his friend's back, while his eyes followed the android with mild interest.

"Don't say that, Min. You deserve to get paid for your work. We all know how much time you spend in here... in fact, you should come over more often after your shift. I'll cook us some actual dinner," he earnestly promised, and something about his tone caused Jongin to stop in his movement and regard his temporary owner with a curious look.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm not starving, Park Chanyeol. Though I do miss your homemade pizza. I'll text you."

While they left the shop -Chanyeol actually steering Jongin out by his shoulder- Minseok kept calling after him, reminding him how delicately balanced Jongin was and making him swear to definitely, never ever touch any of it. Unlike Chanyeol, the little android himself barely paid the mechanic any attention, his head tilted upwards as he stumbled along, still regarding Chanyeol with wonder.

_

"Well, come to think of it, it would have been a little too easy," Chanyeol shrugged, settling into his sofa with a content groan. Jongin sank into the remaining spot with much more grace, placing the box of takeout food on the table. He had insisted on carrying it, obviously determined to make himself useful. Without bothering to sit up, Chanyeol's fingers blindly fumbled for the little patch on the corner of his table, blindly tapping a few fields, switching on the screen on the opposing wall. He flicked through his files and put on some music, controlling the volume with a swipe of his finger. Calm, serene guitar tunes filled the room, and Jongin smiled. Noticing this, Chanyeol lazily grinned to himself while forcing his body to get up after all, accepting the fact that he had to sit up in order to eat.

"You like music?" he asked with a side glance as he fumbled with the plastic box. The android nodded instantly, almost eagerly.

"Yes. I really, really like music. I like anything that's considered creative, but music is my favorite."

"Oh really? I wouldn't have guessed. Can't robo- androids kind of generate creativity?"

Chanyeol bit his lip, already feeling a blush of shame creeping up his face. The publicly used term 'robot' was really inappropriate. A robot was more like a machine, much less complex and thoughtful. An android, on the other hand... well, supporting associations liked to call androids fully sentient beings with their own rights.

 

Chanyeol had never considered himself ignorant, but actually being confronted with an android was new. He waited for Jongin to address his slip up (because there was no way he hadn't noticed it), but he didn't.

"I understand how you would come to this conclusion. But since creativity is an individual expression consisting of combining different experiences and feelings, creativity coming from humans is very different from artificial creativity," Jongin explained patiently as he watched Chanyeol devour his Carbonara noodles.

"But androids can be creative, too, if it all comes down to generating it, right?" Chanyeol asked, already swirling the noodles around his fork while still chewing and talking. "After all, artificial artists are all over the place these days."

"Yes, they can. They can easily imitate trends, or combine out of a random selection. And unlike humans, they have access to the complete digital database. They can create art that humans enjoy by studying their preferences. They can even create something 'new', as far as new is applicable in the art sector," Jongin replied. He looked pretty happy about their topic of conversation, and Chanyeol watched his eyes flit over at the screen once in a while, undoubtedly reading and memorizing the artist.

"So what exactly makes this exciting to you?" he asked, the fork with noodles now half-raised and forgotten. Jongin sought the right words for a second - he seemed to blink more while he was thinking. It was adorable.

"It's about the physical skill and the range of information. If I take in an artificially generated piece of art, my mind instantly sees the numbers behind it. It's all parameters and values. If I am introduced to a human piece of work though, my mind actually has to do some work."

"But humans also just use values and parameters, right?" Chanyeol instantly asked, thinking about the way he himself produces songs. After all, anything he preferred felt good for a reason; it might be a clear one, like a positive memory or association, but could go as deep as his upbringing.

"They do," Jongin readily agreed, "you have to remind yourself that creativity is nothing but combining and expressing things that you've seen or heard about before. Imagine it like working with tools to draw a picture. Now an android has basically all the tools imaginable, because it has access to all information mankind ever collected."

To a human, an android's painting might be fascinating, but to me, who possesses the exact same tools, it's rather bland and uninteresting. Humans, however, each have very specialized sets of tools due to individual experiences. So to me, a painting done by a human is much more interesting. It occupies my mind seeking the patterns and drawing connections, trying to understand with what type of tools they were working with."

When Chanyeol finally ate the bundle of noodles, it had cooled down. Not that he'd notice it.

"That's actually... very interesting," he began, turning the thought in his head, "because in a way, this kinda means that you're bored by your own kind, but not by humans, because you cannot understand them. At the same time, androids are made by humans, and they're so perfect at everything. At everything but understanding their creator. Kinda ironic, don't you think?"

Jongin tilted his head, lips pursed the slightest bit.

"Maybe. Maybe it's not strange at all, because an android is a product of a human's mind, nothing bigger than it."

"That's not what I meant. I mean that it's kinda ironic, if not typical, that people dig this deep into technology, artificial intelligences and whatnot, without figuring out how their own bodies work," Chanyeol threw in as he finished his cheap dinner and sank back into the couch, stretching like a content cat.

"You're just blinded by easily visible results," Jongin argued, but he was smiling, and Chanyeol wasn't offended. It was probably true.

"So Teppei, huh?" he asked instead, nodding towards the screen listing the name of the artist. The android nodded with open glee.

"I can tell he inspires you."

It was Chanyeol's turn to be surprised.

"You can? I'm not doubting that you saw all the instruments and stuff, but you haven't heard any of my music."

The android allowed his posture to relax against the back of the couch, their sides almost touching.

"I saw the rhythm your fingers tapped on the subway's railing yesterday."

Oh? He hadn't even consciously done so, but now that he thought about it, he might have listened to this particular artist yesterday.

"Minseok was right - you do notice a lot of stuff, don't you?"

"Because I observed you," Jongin said with the shadow of a proud smile, "and I love creativity, so this was one of the main arguments for you to be my owner."

Chanyeol hummed thoughtfully. Right. Now that he'd eaten there was no more chance dragging his next steps out. He had a homeless little android on his couch who needed to find his owner. He pondered it for awhile, but there was really not much he could do.

"We could put you up on the database, see whether your owner will find you?" he asked into the room, testing Jongin's reaction - because if he had a resourceful android right next to him, it would be stupid not to ask for his opinion.

The mention of his previous owner didn't seem to delight him though.

"You could... but the chance of part dealers taking me instead is high, right? Without my memory, how would I be able to recognize him or her?"

"Well. I could interview the person, see whether they have an extensive knowledge about you?"

Jongin hesitated, and Chanyeol could immediately tell that something was off. His arguments didn't make perfect sense anymore.

"But..." he began, sounding rather helpless, "but deleting my memory was either done by my owner, or by myself. Either way, there was a reason for doing so. I don't think I'd like to go back to the place I came from, if it has me ending up all alone, on some dirty side walk again."

Chanyeol's mouth formed a small 'o' as he understood the actual problem, and without really thinking it through, he drew the android closer, tugging his head under his own, so he could rest his chin on the brown curls.

"I see. You should have said so right from the start. I won't force you to return to a place that made you unhappy."

Cautious hands found their way into his sweater, fingers burying in the soft cable-knit fabric.

"We'll find another way. Maybe a completely new owner," Chanyeol suggested calmly, eyes trained on nothing in particular, as he stroked his back.

"Can't I stay here?" Jongin asked with a muffled voice, and Chanyeol sighed.

"You're a sneaky little opportunist, asking this question now," he accused him with fond exasperation, but held him closer nonetheless. He shouldn't lightly say yes like that. Never make promises you're not perfectly sure you can keep. It was a lesson Chanyeol had learnt the hard way. Not that he had dramatic stories to tell, but at some point you gotta realize that you can't simply please everyone without suffocating. Chanyeol was old enough to know that.



He expected Jongin to eventually wiggle out of his grasp to demand an answer, or at the very least complain about the human show of affection that restricted him. Instead, the boy snuggled even closer with a content sigh. It was obvious that he wasn't human - his limbs were too hard, body suspiciously light, though it beared an obvious strength. But his skin was still warm to the touch.

"Some android you are," Chanyeol softly chuckled, blowing air at a strand that kept tickling his nose, "you even like cuddling?"

"Yes!" Jongin replied in almost childishly determined fashion, nudging his nose even closer into his clavicle.

"Why?"

"You're asking a lot of questions," Jongin stated, sounding almost accusatory. Chanyeol laughed quietly.

"Right. Sorry. Let's rest a little."

_

The week passed by, and the following, too, and Chanyeol wasn't kidding anyone. Not even himself and certainly not Jongin. With every passing day the chance that he'd give Jongin away was getting smaller and smaller. But he'd been very busy with his jobs, and having Jongin was just so easy.

He'd go to work in the morning, bid the android farewell and ask him not to do anything reckless. He'd return to him sitting on the couch, watching a movie or reading a book. Chanyeol would rant a little about his day and go to sleep a few hours later.

Jongin didn't need anything. No food, no real entertainment, no excitement. He was just there, and it wasn't the least bit uncomfortable.

Chanyeol guessed that he was trying to keep a low profile, in order to smuggle himself into his heart. Though knowing Jongin, he probably knew very well that Chanyeol wouldn't throw him out any time soon.

On a Thursday evening, Chanyeol still spoke up over an empty bowl of soup.

"Aren't you bored, spending your days like this?"

Jongin tilted his head in a questioning manner.

"Why would I be bored? Are you worrying about not paying enough attention to me? Because that's perfectly fine."

Chanyeol couldn't help a small smile tugging at his lips. Jongin may be an android, but that didn't mean it was impossible to get him. He wasn't all that complicated.

"You really are keen on being as quiet as a mouse, aren't you?" he asked with a sassy grin, plopping down next to the lithe android (who bounced a little in his seat), feeling full and sated.

"What makes you think so?" he asked right back with a perfect display of innocence. But Chanyeol wasn't that easily fooled.

"You're pretty sure I won't throw you out, but you're not going to take any chances, huh?" he asked, because if he wanted to build trust, Chanyeol knew he had to do the first step, and that often consisted of voicing your thoughts.

Jongin blinked at him, and he could basically see the processes running in his head as he probably tried to calculate the smartest response. Maybe it took him so long because he hadn't seen Chanyeol reacting to a possible argument. Either way, Chanyeol broke into a smile and pulled him closer in a show of reassurance.

"Easy there, I'm not trying to fight you in any way. You know I won't throw you out, don't be insecure about it now. I was just saying that I think you're holding yourself back. Isn't there anything you want to do?"

Jongin reciprocated the affectionate gesture without hesitation, nuzzling into his side as he craned his neck to try and look at Chanyeol at the same time.

"You're asking an android whether he's bored. Why would an android be bored?"

"Well, maybe not bored, but..." Chanyeol began, searching for the right words while his thumb rubbed circles into the other's shoulder.

"Or maybe it is a little like boredom, after all," he finally said, sounding content about his current train of thoughts, "because if you just exist without really doing something you get rusty, right?"

"I don't get rusty!" Jongin protested indignantly, and Chanyeol chuckled at the childish display of emotions.

"Of course you don't. Not literal rust. But your abilities will kind of go to sleep - you said it yourself, that you like to keep your mind occupied. I'm not saying that because I think less of you. It goes for everything and everybody, right? For machines, humans, androids and even animals. If a little puppy is isolated from other living beings, it'll be harder to form a bond later."

"I'm not like a puppy either-" Jongin protested half-heartedly, only to stop when Chanyeol started to ruffle up his hair and tickle him.

"Sure about that? Showing up like this and approaching me, all friendly and cute - you really are like a big puppy!"

Jongin wasn't ticklish in the least, but startled enough to half-heartedly swat at Chanyeol's fingers.

"So I'm your puppy now?" he asked, and Chanyeol seized the fruitless attack to regard him with a questioning gaze. Jongin hesitated for only a second.

"Because I'm dependant on you? That's why I'm your pet?"

Immediately Chanyeol dropped the playful attitude and enveloped him in a bear hug, repeatedly calling out "Nooo," and how he got it all wrong.

"Don't say that. You make it sound like I think of you as something I look down on, but it's really not like that, promise - sometimes I'm an idiot with my choice of words, sorry-" he reassured him, and for once, Jongin was short on smart replies and protests, simply waiting where he was going with this as he was coddled to no end.

"A puppy isn't like a stuffed animal or something. It has feelings and rights and just because it lives in my house, doesn't mean I have the right to do what I want to it. It's like... a companion. A companion you want to protect."

He drew away to gauge Jongin's adorably ruffled appearance.

"I don't know you very well yet, but we're companions now, aren't we?"

"Alright. I'll be your companion," Jongin readily agreed, and Chanyeol poked his cheek with an encouraging grin.

"And I'll be yours. So now that we talked about this-"

"I think I'm much more capable of protecting, anyway," Jongin interrupted him with an afterthought that had Chanyeol pinch his cheek instead.

"As I was saying, now that we talked about this," he continued, ignoring the statement of his new, sassy companion, "you can be honest with me, right? So what is it that you'd do, if you weren't worrying about upsetting me?"

Jongin lowered his gaze as he was working with the new request, probably so Chanyeol wouldn't see how glassy his orbs got when he was thinking. He'd noticed it before, but chose not to address it for now.

When the android lifted his head it was such a sudden and rapid movement that it startled him.

"I'd like to get a job," Jongin said, looking perfectly earnest.

"A job?" Chanyeol echoed numbly, "what kind of a job?"

"A paid one. So I can raise money in case I need parts one day."

Chanyeol hummed in understanding and sank back into the couch. A paid job. There were paid jobs for androids, but they were pretty rare. Of course androids were able to do just about any job, but employers weren't willing to pay an android, if a simple machine could do the same job at a cheaper price. The laws were still a little vague, but in order to protect androids from being exploited, the employer usually had to pay certain maintenance insurances, in case the android got damaged in any way. There was also a considerable amount of androids working for free -just to be useful- which didn't help, either.

"Ah, I bet it won't be easy to find a job..." Chanyeol murmured, absently rubbing his neck. At the look of caution blooming on Jongin's face due to his lack of enthusiasm, he patted his thigh with a smile.

"But tell you what - let's scour the nearest districts at the weekend. Maybe we'll find some spots that aren't in the database. Besides, if they see you, they'd be fools not to employ you!"

_

22 days later, Jongin found himself tugging at the simple uniform that was just a little too loose. He couldn't deny that he was excited for his first day. He could feel his system being perfectly alert and open to take in as much input as possible. This was an important day, he had to give a good impression to his boss and colleagues. The boss was a friendly young woman, and Jongin wasn't too worried about her suddenly changing her mind about hiring an android, but he could still lower the risk permanently by being the perfect employee. Also...

"Jongin, will you hold little Baekki still, while I remove that nasty tick?"

...also Jongin loved puppies. The pet shop also had kittens and other cute, young animals (even two tiny baby snakes), and Jongin liked them all, but puppies just had something to them. He hadn't ever consciously thought about them before, and he usually encountered animals with neutral friendliness, but the bitey little ball of fluff that was Baekki had won Jongin's affection in an instant. Of course he contemplated the reason for that - Jongin was prone to meticulous self-reflection, because he usually knew every little factor moving him. Any unexpected one was to be analyzed and categorized immediately. But it seemed like he had no logical reason for liking puppies. Tracking it back, he always ended up with them being 'pure' and 'worth protecting'.

That much couldn't be said for his colleague, unfortunately.

It had taken Jongin exactly 1.4 seconds to note that Oh Sehun didn't want to work with him because he was an android. Another five to confirm that the boy had never been in contact with an android before. Half an hour of silently observing him while doing minor tasks, and Jongin had also found out that Sehun was still a student, studied something language-related and had a rather distinct balance of extroversion and introversion, strongly spurred on by his own set of opinions. He was a rather simple person in comparison to Chanyeol - though his owner did appear to be simple, too, only to catch him off guard when Jongin was least expecting it. He still had a lot to learn about him.

Sehun, on the other hand, was simple. And determined not to like him.

And Jongin was determined to make him change his mind.

General advice on the database related to Sehun's characteristics told him that pushing stubborn people would mostly lead to them turning away on purpose though. Usually, less pressure would show the greatest effects, and so Jongin patiently did his work. He still made it a point to subtly stay near Sehun, in order to demonstrate how harmless he was and get him used to the concept of an android coworker. He could feel the boy scrutinizing his every action, probably waiting for him to make a mistake. Jongin was just considering whether making a mistake on purpose would get some interaction going between them, when Sehun's hand invaded his personal space, reaching for the bag of food in his hands.

"Not that one."

Realizing how sharp his voice had sounded, Sehun toned it down a little, though he was unwilling to meet Jongin's searching eyes.

"Vivi is allergic. She gets different food," he elaborated, reaching for another, smaller bag on a shelf. He hesitated, and for a couple seconds he looked between the android and the tiny white poodle he was absently petting. With a sigh he gave in, and offered the bag to Jongin. This wasn't a human making him do the work, because he looked like he was out of his comfort zone. Therefore this was Sehun letting him do something he'd preferred to have done himself, Jongin concluded. Either a first show of trust, friendliness, or basic morality. Regardless, Jongin smiled as he took the bag and filled the little bowl. He grinned even wider at the tiny pieces of food bouncing off the poodle's eager nose that was already buried in the bowl because he wasn’t anywhere near finished.

"You're so eager, don't rush too much or you'll get a stomachache," he cooed as he observed the excitable little thing nip on the food.

Sehun was now crouching down next to him, petting the distracted puppy. A display of mild dominance and possessiveness - but not in a threatening manner. If anything, Sehun might be the one feeling threatened by him. Jongin didn't mean to upset him, but he still couldn't resist reaching out to graze his fingertips over the soft fur on her back, avoiding to interfere with Sehun or touch his fingers. It wasn't completely soft, the little curls in the hair made it a bit coarse. But Jongin really enjoyed it.

"You seriously like puppies?" Sehun asked quietly, and the emphasize on the verb told Jongin that he didn't think an android would like anything the way humans did. Jongin wasn't upset. After all, Sehun made a tiny bit of room, allowing Jongin to scratch her ears carefully.

"Yes!" he replied enthusiastically, "I like them the most. They're so innocent and soft."

"Why would an android even like puppies?"

So Sehun was a straight-forward person. Those were the easiest to deal with, Jongin thought.

"I'm programmed to," he stated simply, never ceasing to smile. When Sehun only snorted at his answer, he sparked Jongin's defiancy though.

"So why do you like puppies?" he asked right back at him.

Sehun hesitated.

For about 15 seconds, he didn't reply, before quietly muttering that puppies were cute.

Aware of the fact that his answer was in no way more logical than Jongin's, he sought distance and didn't say anything else to him that day. But when Jongin ended his shift, Sehun called after him, asking when his next shift would be with a small, shy smile.

Jongin smiled back at him.

_

"I can tell you're nervous, Nini."

The android's head whipped up to him, and he looked suspiciously attentive.

"You just called me Nini. That's generally a female name," he said neutrally, and Chanyeol only chuckled at the cheap diversion tactic. Slowly, he was beginning to get the inner workings of his adorable android.

"We both know you technically don't have a gender," he stated lightly as he placed an arm around the other's shoulders, tugging him down the street, "and you don't have to be nervous. My friends have yet to eat somebody. They'll like you. You made that boy at your job like you, and he didn't like androids in general."

Jongin hesitated, eyes trained on the street.

"How did you know I'm nervous?" he finally asked, and Chanyeol ruffled his hair with a smile.

"I just know."

He could tell the android that he tended to talk less, undoubtedly busy with running an unnecessary amount of calculations on the possible outcome of their meeting. That he was overall less responsive. But he didn't want to burden him any further, if the prospect of introducing himself to his friends was already occupying him so much.

It wasn't in his intent to show Jongin off, but ever since he'd told them the truth about owning an android, the guys had bugged him to meet Jongin. And now that the boy had been living with him for more than three months, Chanyeol figured that he could just as well get it over with. After all, it didn't look like he and Jongin would go separate ways any time soon.

He gave Jongin some space, even though he left a reassuring palm on his upper back as they entered the bar. It was a cozy location with old-fashioned, thick glass windows and plush benches, one of their favorite hangout places. Without hesitation, he headed towards the noisy corner in the back, where his three friends sat nursing their drinks, with Baekhyun telling something with animated hand gestures.

Kyungsoo noticed him first and gave him a vague nod, alerting the other two as well. Baekhyun jumped to his feet immediately, a hearty greeting on his lips.

"Yeol, you're late!" he accused, drawing him into a half-assed hug, as his eyes were already roaming Jongin, who was standing next to him in almost too orderly a fashion, as if he was awaiting instructions.

"Don't mind him, he's just proud that he's here before you for once," Jongdae said with a dismissive wave of his hand, though his eyes were curiously flickering over to the android as well.

"Hey guys. This is Jongin," Chanyeol simply announced, and now that the situation had come, he might be a tad bit anxious after all. Still, in order to reassure Jongin, he kept the palm on the android's back perfectly still. All three of them were now looking at the poor android, who looked perfectly neutral, before a small, careful smile tugged at his lips.

"Nice to meet you," he announced quietly, and the spell was broken when Baekhyun decided to jump right into his vision, eager hands patting his shoulders.

"Awesome!" he blurted out and Jongin twitched back in surprise, "So you're an actual android! You almost look real, though you're a bit too pretty - I mean, look at you, you're so handsome, like what even-"

"Back off Byun, you're scaring him," Kyungsoo deadpanned, and with a friendly shove from Chanyeol, the noisy boy relented and slipped into the bench, insisting Jongin sat next to him. The android sought Chanyeol's eyes almost helplessly, but he gave him an encouraging nod that went unnoticed in the commotion.

"Nice to meet you, too. I'm Jongdae."

A hand was extended over the table and Jongin, who'd been about to bow, quickly changed strategies and shook it. Kyungsoo quietly followed suit, but Chanyeol was already at ease. He knew his friends, and their current behaviour was their way of showing friendly curiosity.

Though friendly curiosity could already be very overwhelming if you were Byun Baekhyun.

Chanyeol had barely nipped at the foam on his beer when the questions started.

"So what type of an android are you? You're so pretty, don't tell me you're the naughty type-" Baekhyun began, and spurred on by the urge to defend Jongin, Chanyeol flicked a bit of his precious foam at him.

"No, you idiot," he began, but Jongin cut him off with a display of neutral friendliness.

"I'm a Sentient Companion."

"The most sentient one you've ever seen," Chanyeol added with a hint of pride, slinging his arm around Jongin's shoulders again. Jongin practically glowed at the compliment.

"Sentient? You don't really look the part," Baekhyun mused, tapping a manicured finger on the wood, "though you do seem more sentient than Soo, And Soo's supposedly human, so there's that."

Kyungsoo didn't even bother doing anything but glare at Baekhyun, since Jongdae was ready to flick the noisy boy's head already.

 

Chanyeol was relieved when they made it through dinner without major slip ups. Jongin seemed to have taken a liking to silent Kyungsoo, and the feeling appeared to be mutual, which was rare enough, considering how Kyungsoo was picky with his friends (Baekhyun was a slip up, according to him). With Jongdae, on the other hand, things became real interesting real fast.

"Kind of. I just study people very closely in order to estimate their future behaviour," Jongin was just explaining to an inquisitive Baekhyun, who demanded he demonstrate. Jongin looked around the table helplessly, probably unwilling to expose his owner or the reserved Kyungsoo - because the little android was quick and thoughtful like that. So he settled on Jongdae instead.

"Alright, so... just now, Jongdae greeted me with a handshake and a friendly smile. I can't draw conclusions about how high he regards androids just yet, but I can tell that he's invested in making me feel comfortable, especially because Chanyeol kept me as a secret and he wants Chanyeol to be comfortable. Regarding just his outer appearance, I take him to be neither sloppy nor overly fixated on his looks, with his clearly washed, but messy hair and the simple, woolen sweater. He's definitely not sensitive towards germs, since he's mindlessly touching the rim of his glass. He obviously doesn't care much about sport, but he isn't over-weight in any way either. I guess his eating habits are irregular. Might be the type to skip a meal or two when stressed. This is just a loose guess at this point; I'll know more when he orders something later. It's just that he was very ready to jump to Kyungsoo's aid when a comment was directed at him, so I take him as someone who is very keen on harmonizing, likely at his own expense. Oh, and he has to be close to Chanyeol, because he knows his eating preferences very well and already ordered that beer for him," Jongin added like an afterthought, and Chanyeol couldn't keep the small grin at the way Baekhyun's expression lost a bit of his confidence.

"So I'd currently predict that Jongdae won't make snide remarks directed at either Kyungsoo, Chanyeol or me, though the ones directed at you seem to be of playful origin as well. I'm guessing you can take them."

"Ah, just how you think I can take some analyzing?" Jongdae spoke up from where he'd mashed his cheek into one hand, the other circling the rim of his glass.

"Because you wouldn't wanna risk getting into Chanyeol's bad books, take Kyungsoo as a possibly sensitive person and Baekhyun as someone who doesn't take well to being picked apart?"

His tone spoke of mild interest, and Chanyeol could see the way it threw Jongin off, could see the way he started re-running his calculations as he blinked repeatedly.

"Are you offended right now?" he finally asked, a look of confusion on his face.

"You're already pretty dead set on me being too friendly to display my anger in an obvious fashion, aren't you? And now you don't know where this is going..." Jongdae trailed off, and at the sight of helplessness on the android’s face, he finally lost the fight against the small smile tugging at his lips. The gesture seemed to give Jongin the hint he needed, and he relaxed visibly.

"Ah. You're playing with me. You... you see a lot, but don't voice it out. You're letting me know because..."

Jongin hesitated, and a left-out Baekhyun butted in to regain much-wanted attention.

"Because you shouldn't underestimate him! Dae is pretty smart, you know?"

But the android shook his head, and it was more than interesting to Chanyeol to see his android struggle with something for once.

"That would include him being sensitive or offended by my revelation. It wasn't much though, so I don't think that's it..."

"Just ask him," Kyungsoo suggested dryly, and after a probing look, Jongin complied.

"Why did you give me this deeper understanding of you?"

Jongdae sat up straight and all but beamed at him.

"Because it's fun to see your lashes fluttering when you're working so hard to figure things out," he chirped, making cute expressions at him.

"Also, it's just me being curious, so don't get your head twisted up too badly."

Jongin muttered a small 'Oh,' and Chanyeol could see him rearranging all the new input, working hard to keep track of the four people at the table.

"Stop it, Dae, you might give him a blue screen," Baekhyun joked, which led to a pout on the android's face.

"I'm not a rickety computer, I do not get blue screens. How would I even turn blue?"

"I don't know, man, you tell me. What does happen, then? Will you give us a shutdown announcement?"

Sensing Jongin being unhappy about those questions, Chanyeol drew him in closely by his shoulder. With a defiant glance directed at Baekhyun, Jongin snuggled closer.

_

"You didn't have to go home early because of me..." Jongin mumbled as they were taking the steps to his apartment.

"Don't say that - you were obviously uncomfortable. You don't have to feel bad, Jongin," Chanyeol reassured him as he unlocked the door and entered with a sigh. Home, sweet home. He went straight to refrigerator to get a bottle of chilled juice and threw himself onto the sofa with a blissed groan. This was the first time he could really relax ever since he’d gotten up for his morning shift. His feet were positively aching. Instead of joining him, Jongin unsurely hovered behind the couch, palms resting on the headrest.

"I don't dislike Baekhyun. He's not a bad person," he stated carefully, and Chanyeol leaned back to give him an upside-down look.

"He asked you to do a robot dance," he stated in a deadpan voice. Jongin's small smile didn't twitch, but he didn't say anything either. With a sigh, Chanyeol shuffled to one side of the couch and gestured Jongin to join him. The android complied immediately, and it was the silence that gave him away. Chanyeol was flattered by it, quite frankly. Lying and brushing things off was all-too easy for an android, but Jongin was apparently determined not to lie to him; not that Chanyeol had ever made him promise not to.

"What's occupying you right now?" he asked in a friendly tone, when Jongin had snuggled into his side in an already perfectly familiar fashion. With his head comfortably resting on Chanyeol's chest, Jongin finally replied.

"I'm just thinking that it would be nice if I could cry."

"Oh?" Chanyeol asked, actually taken by surprise. "Why is that?"

Leaning into his owner's hand petting his curls absently, Jongin closed his eyes.

"If I could cry, I could show people I'm sad or unhappy. Most humans I met so far rely more on the show than tell aspect of communication."

"Ah, that's why..."

Chanyeol considered it, and Jongin didn't press him for a reply. He usually didn't, for to him, a lack of verbal response was already a reaction containing a lot of information.

"You know, most people hate crying," he finally stated, and Jongin blinked up at him with a cocked head.

"What? Why?"

"Because they're afraid," Chanyeol replied immediately. There wasn't much to think about regarding this one. "They're afraid of being weak in front of others. It makes us vulnerable, you know?"

"Us," Jongin repeated mindlessly, and Chanyeol bit his lips.

"I wasn't meaning to make you feel like an outcast," he quickly corrected, and Jongin only nodded, before resting back against his chest.

"I know. You just meant to include yourself. To tell me that you, too, are acquainted with this feeling. That's nice of you."

Chanyeol huffed.

"You think too highly of me. Maybe it just slipped because I'm selfish and eager to make you feel sorry or protective over me."

The little android shook his head, and his curls tickled Chanyeol's chin.

"You want me to know you, and I like that. Don't feel bad about it. You could cry in my presence, too. I wouldn't mind. Crying is like your body or mind calling for help, right? So if I could do that, hypothetically speaking..." he murmured, reaching for one of Chanyeol's hands. The android's hand felt so real in his, and yet there was no heartbeat thrumming through veins. It was warm though. And solid.

"...I'd only cry in front of people I really trust to help me. Like you."

With a small smile, Chanyeol blew air into his ear, just to see the adorable way he was twitching in surprise.

"You can't though. So you better tell me when you need help. I'll take you seriously for sure."

With an oddly content smile, Jongin looked at nothing in particular.

"Because you're very caring. Remember that time on the train?"

"When you found me?"

Some people may have said 'when I found you', but Chanyeol was no fool. Jongin had found him. Chose him.

"Yes. Back then, you offered this young boy a seat. He wasn't old or anything, but you could tell that he was having a bad day. In fact, I think he might have felt physically unwell, too."

Chanyeol couldn't remember at all. It was such a small matter, and not something that was in any way unusual for him.

"And I came to the conclusion that you care for others. It seems that I was right about that."

"Ah, nothing escapes your hawk eyes, does it?" Chanyeol chuckled, one absent finger messing up the silky, synthetic curls, "anything else that helped you choose me?"

Without a word, the android shook his head a little to get his hair back to its original shape as he thought about it. Chanyeol bit back a grin, and his fingers immediately wandered into the curls again.

"I thought you might need some help," Jongin finally said. "You had this heavy bag, and oh. I never even got around to carrying your stuff, after all."

"You don't have to..." Chanyeol hummed, carding through the hair to see whether he could sweep it to one side. "Anything else?"

With a faint sound of protest, Jongin swatted at his hand and turned to give him an accusatory look.

"Yes. One thing," he said, and Chanyeol was too curious not to take the bait.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"I'm not gonna tell you," Jongin snippily replied, causing Chanyeol to make a scene of trying to get the information out of him. Some dramatic poking and half-hearted wrestling had them end up on the floor, with their legs propped up on the couch instead.

"You know..." Chanyeol began, still a little huffy from Jongin's pretty accurate tickling. "Next time, you should get back at Baekhyun. Show him not to make fun of you. He can take it, and god knows he needs it."

At this, Jongin perked up, looking visibly interested.

"How?"

_

"You went dancing?"

This had Sehun look up from where he was heaving sacks of dog food around to get to the bottom of the stack where the bags of sand for the birds were (while Jongin was stuck with the even heavier sacks of cat litter). He'd even ceased cursing about the storage room for the first time since they'd entered. The urge to grin was pretty strong, and Jongin figured Sehun wouldn't mind, so he did.

"Yes!"

"You can dance, too?"

Multitasking was obviously not a problem for Jongin, but this conversation topic was rather engaging, so he clearly slowed down on the task at hand.

"I just imitated what I saw, putting together what would be a desirable form of dancing. At first I was a little off, because I only looked at my owner, and he's not that much of a dancer. But soon enough, Baekhyun became very apologetic over that robot dance joke."

"Can you learn just about anything?" Sehun asked incredulously. He wasn't even pretending to work anymore at this point. "I mean. I love dancing, but I bet what I learned over years you mastered it in, like, five minutes."

"I just have a lot of vacancy to fill," Jongin offered, always willing to talk in simple phrases and examples to make people like Sehun understand.

"I have a certain amount of potential and can distribute it to various skills. So far, I didn't learn a lot of things. It's comparable to a human baby. They don't know many things, so they learn quickly, right? And the more they have to keep track of, the slower they learn."

Sehun nodded in understanding, though his brows remained slightly furrowed.

"So that's why you learnt it so quickly..."

"Oh, but I also really like music, so that certainly sped up the progress, because I'm so familiar and open to it!" Jongin added, because he really was that excited about this experience. To his surprise, Sehun tilted his head a little, looking contemplative. The mood shifted and his voice sounded thoughtful.

"Sometimes I feel like androids are just... better than people. Like they can do everything and are just perfect. But then you're saying such things, and I can't help thinking you're so similar to me-"

The little speech was interrupted when Sehun heard the steps coming closer and like a well-conditioned employee, immediately whirled around to continue working, not without gesturing Jongin to do the same. The door opened a mere two seconds later, allowing the general outside noise of the shop in.

Both of them looked up to the entrance, where their boss was standing with a pretty boy. Jongin immediately pinpointed him as an android. His posture gave him away.

"And this is our storage room. Those are Sehun and Jongin. Jongin's our fellow android employee. Guys, this is Taemin," she introduced in a curt, but not unfriendly manner. Sehun nodded and Taemin waved at them with an adorable smile.

"I'm currently showing him around, but you'll help him out later, won’t you?"

"Sure," Sehun offered, but Jongin was too distracted by the way the blond android looked at him. There was something about it. He might simply be thrown off by Jongin being an android as well, though. There was no option of figuring his inner workings out from just a look, so Jongin didn't try to. His boss ushered him out of the room and towards the actual animals of the store. Sehun dropped the pretense of working the moment they were out of sight.

"Did you see him?" he asked in a hushed manner, and Jongin didn't get his excitement. He hadn't seemed thrilled when Jongin started out, either. Was he that accustomed to androids already?

"He looks just like you, don't you think?"

Oh. Wait... he wasn't wrong about that. Jongin hadn't put much thought into analyzing the android’s outer appearance -and he hadn't seen him up close yet- but he could definitely see where Sehun was coming from.

"Not to sound racist or whatever you'd call it, but man. I don't know. It's the face?"

Jongin nodded absently, while he compared  Taemin's face with his own. They indeed had similar features. The shape of their eyes, nose and lips... though Taemin was fair where Jongin wasn't. He was all porcelain skin, bright eyes and blond hair. It was like conventional beauty standards meeting Jongin's supposedly exotic features.

"Hey, did I upset you?" Sehun asked worriedly, one hand gingerly touching Jongin's shoulder. It instantly called him back to the present.

"No. No, I'm not upset. You're right."

There were a couple possible explanations, and one that was definitely not high enough to be stored away as 'likely' yet. But he couldn't discard it either.

"Are you worried I'll favor him because he's new? I won't, okay?"

Jongin smiled. Sehun had a really sweet nature. He wouldn't wanna bother him with his thoughts though, because Sehun didn't have a good grasp on android's behaviour yet, and he didn't want to confuse or distress him.

"Okay. I won't favor him because he's an android either."

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Nooo..." Jongin reassured him earnestly, only to tilt his head in a playful manner. "Do you want me to make fun of you? I could do that."

"Sure you could, I can imagine that you'd be passionate about that," Sehun grumbled, pushing a heavy bag of sand into his hands.

"Let's get some work done, before our residential dragon replaces us with even prettier androids. My ego definitely couldn't take the blow."

At the end of the day, Jongin actually found himself behind the counter with Taemin. This was the first time they were sort of alone together, given the opportunity to communicate freely. To say that Jongin wasn't curious would be a blatant lie. Sure, Jongin saw androids all the time, but never had he interacted on a personal level with any of them. At least not as far as he could remember. Suddenly, he wondered whether he'd had android friends before he came to in the shabby hall of the main station, without any memory whatsoever.

Taemin didn't seem to share his curiosity, or maybe he was hiding it. In any case, the blond android was looking ahead with the hint of a polite smile tugging at his lips. He was probably very keen on doing a good job. But there was no customer in the shop, so Jongin didn't feel bad for breaking the silence.

"I never had an android coworker," he stated probingly, and the other reacted by shooting him a mildly confused look. He really was pretty, by both android and human standards.

"So I'm curious and interested in you," Jongin elaborated, and the blond's expression lit up in obvious understanding.

"Oh, I see. What would you like to know?"

Androids were far easier to adapt to than humans on many levels. They were working on the basics of logic, ingrained emotions, and overall parameters that were easy for a fellow android to interpret. But maybe Jongin had been around too many humans, for he found Taemin's simplicity rather... off-throwing.

"Maybe what kind of an android you are?" he asked carefully. The reply came swift and easily, his tone almost neutral.

"I am a Sentient Companion."

"Really? Me too. I’m even more interested in getting to know you now," Jongin said honestly, and the blond was actually beginning to look a little more invested in their conversation as well.

"I take it your owner is working a lot, if you have the spare time to pick up a job?" Jongin prodded further, and Taemin nodded. "What do you need the money for?"

And he'd lost him again, seeing as Taemin tilted his head in confusion once more.

"I do not get paid. I have no need for money."

"Oh. I see..." Jongin replied, and tried not to feel inferior to the other. He wasn't selfish for receiving money for the work he did. He was already receiving less than Sehun, and he potentially needed this money in the future. If he were to have a choice, he'd gladly care for these animals for free, too.

He'd obviously lost the string that had kept the conversation going - and while Taemin did look a little troubled about the sudden silence, he didn't seem to know a way to break it.

"So what type of person is your owner?" Jongin asked, throwing in a hopefully safe question. Chanyeol himself insisted on Jongin not calling him his owner, but he couldn't assume that all other androids experienced the same thing. Taemin actually lit up at this. For the first time, Jongin got the impression that Taemin was... human.

"He's a professor. In fact, he's also my creator. He developed the engine I'm running on, and together with a friend, he even put me together."

Jongin blinked.

Completely custom made. And he did look like him.

"So you're his first finalized android?" he asked, and as expected, Taemin wasn't able to read in between the lines. He only shook his head.

"The second one. I never met the first one. I once saw some notes calling him Kai. There were some parameters on it, but my owner does not talk much about him. My guess is that he was not satisfied with the outcome."

Jongin resisted the strong urge to show emotions and put up a neutral face of his own.

"You think so?"

"Yes, it is highly likely that something went wrong. Oh, but I am not worried about myself. He regularly tells me how happy he is with me."

Jongin smiled. It came out perfectly, but Jongin had lost all will to further communicate with the android. Such an easy, perfect smile that came automatically and fooled everyone for the rest of his shift. Jongin kept it on at all times - because it was expected and made sense. But never before had he felt so... isolated around humans. In a corner of his constantly working mind, he entertained the hypothetical case of being human himself. Would he be crying now? Even though the timing would be bad and the backlash uncomfortable - would he?

_

When he stepped out of the elevator and padded down the hallway to Chanyeol's (and his) home a few hours later, he knew perfectly well what he wanted to tell his owner. All the words were chosen, his concerns sorted into orderly categories. Maybe this is the most human thing about me, Jongin thought as the entrance came in sight. The fact that I have this urge to share information. Seeking advice is logical, but Jongin hoped less for advice and more for Chanyeol drawing him in closely for comfort. What an odd desire, from a logical point of view.

The moment he'd typed in the code and opened the door, he heard it. Foreign sounds. Chanyeol was home, but he wasn't alone.

"Hello. I'm back..." he carefully called into the apartment as he took his shoes and jacket off. Footsteps resounded, and Chanyeol tumbled out of the tiny living room with a girl Jongin hadn't seen before. She waved at him with a curious, but friendly smile.

"Jongin! You worked overtime again," Chanyeol said in a playfully accusing tone, before his eyes darted to the girl.

"This is him," he simply told her before addressing the android again.

"Jongin, this is Amber. I told you about her, remember? What a silly question though, of course you remember-"

"What do you mean you're talking about me behind my back? What did you tell him, huh?" the girl asked jokingly, nudging Chanyeol's side with a not too moderate amount of force. Jongin regarded her. Yes, Chanyeol had mentioned her as someone who often went to the same studio he did. She was indeed boyish with short, unruly black hair and wore an equally black, simple T-shirt. It revealed the tattoos raking up her right arm. Unlike many other females her age, he didn't spot any traces of makeup on her.

"Anyway!" Chanyeol intervened, still shooting her suspicious glances as if he expected her to attack him again any second. "What I was going to tell you is that she's my- that I'm her boyfriend now. Kinda."

Boyfriend. Chanyeol was in a relationship now.

The words all but tumbled out of Chanyeol's mouth in a way they'd never done before, and Jongin just blinked at him from where he was frozen in the doorway. The girl snaked an arm around his waist.

"Kinda? Someone's really convinced of this," she said, still obviously joking, "I guess I could be your kinda-girlfriend. You may treat me to dinner in return."

Chanyeol kept tugging at her hand and whined about girlfriends not being the one to have their hand there (not even kinda-girlfriends), leading to Amber rolling her eyes and telling him he was too tall to go for the shoulders. All the while, the tips of his owner's ears were burning, and Jongin had never seen him so socially awkward and-

Suddenly, Jongin's mind was wiped blank, and all his sensory receptors ceased working. The relentless stream of information stopped abruptly, and when Jongin came to, he was still standing in the doorway. His inner clock told him that no more than two seconds had passed, but he felt insecure and even wobbly, since his system was running a quick check on everything, including his limbs and joints.

"Jongin?"

Looking at Chanyeol when he asked for it came naturally by now. He looked mildly worried.

"Everything alright?"

The tests said yes, so Jongin nodded. At this point, the basic check was done and he had enough room for social constructs to shift into focus. There was his owner, and the girl... his girlfriend. Amber. Romantic relationships were important and he ought not to interfere. He'd really, really wanted to talk to Chanyeol, but Chanyeol was busy with someone more important than him now. Jongin put up a polite smile.

"I'm fine. Let me prepare you some tea, it's rather cold in here."

With this, he went to the kitchen, absently looking into the boiling water as his mind tried to analyze his current emotional state.

_

"Have mercy on me, stop, sto-ah-!"

Chanyeol yelped when a finger poked his sides just where he was especially ticklish.

As expected, Amber was merciless in her attack and took perfect advantage of Chanyeol being somewhat careful around her. Not necessarily because he felt like girls needed to be coddled and more because he'd been harbouring a crush on her forever, and now that she was actually right next to him, he couldn't believe his luck. Sure, just because she'd agreed to date him didn't mean he should start looking for engagement rings (not that people really bought those nowadays, anyway), but the memory of her pecking his lips earlier was still fresh on his mind. In such a daring, swift move she'd kissed him to shut him up, and Chanyeol had seen the shy grin tugging at her lips afterwards. He hadn't teased her about it. He was way too busy swooning right now.

She ceased tickling him as Jongin came in to place two cups of tea on the table. Chanyeol offered for him to keep them company, but the android mumbled something about needing a little alone-time, wandering off into his room. They both followed him with their eyes, and Chanyeol silently wondered whether he'd gone at this the wrong way. He had no intention of making Jongin feel like a third wheel in his own home. A sip of the tea had him scrunch up his face in distaste. Chamomile. Amber snorted at his expression.

"Don't laugh, it's awful!" Chanyeol whined, only egging Amber's amusement on, "I only have chamomile tea in case Jongdae visits me. I really can't stand it, okay?"

He was still smacking his lips, trying to get rid of the taste, when Amber casually switched their cups.

"You should have noticed the smell of it then, if you hate it so much," she teasingly said, sipping at the steaming liquid. "I thought your cute android knows you inside out?"

Chanyeol halted with his fingers clasping the warm cup. Right. Jongin knew his tea preferences. Why would he serve him chamomile tea?

"You think he's passive aggressively trying to tell you something?" Amber suggested, only half-joking. "Like how he's unhappy about me being here?"

Chanyeol shook his head without hesitation.

"No, no, no. That's not it. I mean... if there's any android capable of being passive aggressive, it would totally be Jongin," he clarified, perfectly convinced, "but that's not in his nature. If he gets annoyed with me, he'll usually show it."

Amber smiled at the way he talked about Jongin.

"You two are kind of a package deal, huh? But then why would he do it? You think he might have switched the cups?"

Chanyeol didn't know an answer to that, and his mind wandered off to the android in worry.

He ended up bidding Amber farewell earlier than planned. She seemed to get that he was worried and left it at a peck to his cheek. Chanyeol was infinitely grateful for that - he would've never forgiven himself for not being a hundred percent invested into their first, real kiss. As soon as he'd closed the door, he made a beeline for Jongin's room. The android rarely ever spent time in it aside from sleeping, and according to Chanyeol, it was evident in how lost he looked. He hesitated in the doorway, because Jongin showed no sign of having noticed him and continued to sit on his bed with his back against the wall, all but curled up on himself.

"Jongin?"

A second passed, and as Chanyeol was about to consider freaking out, something akin to a shudder went through the android, and his head whipped up to look at him.

"Chanyeol? Were you calling for me just now?"

With a serious feeling of unsettlement, Chanyeol strode over to the bed to take a seat next to Jongin. The android seemed distracted.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly, carefully even. Jongin seemed to consider this question himself, blinking rapidly and ultimately shaking his head.

"Nothing."

Chanyeol considered his next course of action. Jongin never lied to him, so this was about asking the right questions.

"Do you dislike Amber? I shouldn't have brought her over without warning, but it was all so spontaneous-"

"I don't dislike Amber. I don't know much about her," Jongin assured him, and he was gradually beginning to revert to his usual self. Only now did Chanyeol realize he was missing the mimic earlier. And something he wasn't able to pinpoint... it was back now, but that didn't mean he'd stop worrying.

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you," Jongin interrupted his thoughts.

Chanyeol was left staring at Jongin after hearing his story. He was very well aware of the ugly feeling of wariness tainting the news that Jongin had technically found his creator. Was he going to return to him now? It would probably be for the best, and Chanyeol should encourage him, but the selfish part of him was blocking the words from coming out.

Jongin was looking at him almost expectantly, and Chanyeol swallowed hard.

"So... how does that make you feel? Do you want to meet him?" he asked slowly, and it seemed like he was on the wrong track, judging by how quickly Jongin shook his head.

"No! What if he takes me back? I don't want that to happen."

"Does seeing Taemin make you sad?" Chanyeol asked instead. From what Jongin had told him it sounded like the blond android was like a better version of himself. It would sure depress him. But Jongin dismissed this guess as well.

"No. It makes me... angry," he said after a pause of hesitation.

"Angry? How so?"

Jongin didn't have to consider his reply. It was like he'd been itching to say it.

"Because abandoning things is wrong!" he stated rather fiercely, before tuning down on the emotions in order to not make Chanyeol feel attacked. "My morals tell me that abandoning your responsibilities is wrong. That means my creator thought so and implemented this. Even though my creator thought so himself, he still abandoned me, and simply built a second android to take my place."

Oh. Now Chanyeol really got his train of thoughts. And it made sense. A lot of sense, actually. Still...

"What if he didn't abandon you and something happened?"

But of course Jongin wouldn't be Jongin if he hadn't thoroughly considered this possibility already.

"He didn't even search for me. Throughout the entire time I've been conscious, I have kept track of the incoming search queries online. He didn't even try to find me. Apparently, I wasn't worth the effort."

Chanyeol looked into his big, expectant eyes, and finally caved in.

"What would you like me to do? There's something, isn't there?"

The android looked almost petulant at the question.

"You could just hug me, Chanyeol."

With an exasperated huff, Chanyeol followed his request, and the way Jongin melted into the embrace was so flowing and un-android-like that it was hard to remember the boy in his arms wasn't human.

"Aren't you a bossy one," Chanyeol joked, one palm cupping the back of Jongin's head. He felt him lean into his touch.

"Just what is it about you and physical contact? I don't think I've ever heard of an android genuinely craving it."

Any other person might have been offended by the question itself but with Jongin, it was perfectly fine to speak on such a neutral, logic-driven level. It wasn't like he minded being affectionate with Jongin. This was merely about curiosity, and the android knew it.

"I have yet to figure that out. I'm working on it," Jongin mumbled somewhere near his clavicle. "A certain level of warmth tends well to the part of me running on lithium batteries, but I suspect it's something about the display of affection and comfort itself. It might just make me feel protected in an irrational way. Either way, it heavily establishes that you like me, in a way words can't. I haven't dug deeper into the matter yet."

His words caused a warm wave of adoration to wash over Chanyeol. Adoration for the peaceful android in his arms who knew no shame or awkwardness when it came to expressing himself to him. He slung both arms around his back, and ultimately encased him with his legs as well. Keeping him as close as possible.

"Don't worry. I'll hug you anyplace, anytime. Until you get tired of it," he mumbled and Jongin smiled against his neck.

That evening, Chanyeol insisted on Jongin sleeping in his bed, where he could continue to cuddle him until he fell asleep with the shorter one cradled in his arms.

_

This might not be Jongin's best idea so far, but he was seeing this through. His legs were dangling off the bench he was sitting on, absently scanning the café's customers.

Sure, he had been searching the database for information, but at the end of the day, he decided that he'd value the opinion of individual humans more. He could have called Sehun, and maybe he would ask him during his next shift, but for now he'd contacted-

Jongin flinched as someone jumped him from the side he hadn't been watching, but ceased any action as he recognized the familiar voice.

"Jonginnie, found ya!"

It was Jongdae clinging around his neck, and as he turned around, Jongin noticed Kyungsoo standing right next to his table as well.

They didn't immediately ask for the reason Jongin called them, and instead got comfortable, ordering food and drinks.

"Your hair smells good, what shampoo do you use?"

Also Jongdae hadn't stopped clinging on to him for even one second. Jongin was beginning to feel confused.

"Chanyeol's?"

Jongdae hummed, his cheek still mashed against Jongin's hair in their awkward sideways hug.

"I see. Tell him it smells good for me."

"I'm sure he won't find that statement weird at all," Kyungsoo deadpanned, voice dripping with sarcasm. Jongin was glad he was able to detect sarcasm, or else he and Kyungsoo would have a hard time communicating.

After an internal debate on whether Jongdae cuddling him was acceptable or not, Jongin decided to give in and lean into it. He did like warmth. And Jongdae seemed to enjoy himself a lot.

"This is, like, the best thing ever - I should have thought of it earlier," he happily stated, snuggling Jongin like a teddy bear. "You see, I love cuddles. If I cuddle a man, people will call me gay and probably bash me though. Now if I cuddle an android..." he continued, talking as if he was convinced this was genius, "...people will only call me a weirdo!"

"And that is infinitely better than getting bashed for being gay," Kyungsoo said, entirely unimpressed. Jongin sensed the odd atmosphere and was about to store away this unexpected display of attitude of Jongdae's, when the latter laughed.

"I mean, nothing against gays, obviously. Still, I don't wanna give mixed signals and die single!"

"Obviously," Jongin repeated quietly, curiously. Like before, the implied question was enough for the other to elaborate.

"Yeah. After all, Soo here swings that way," Jongdae replied easily, nodding towards the stoic boy whose eyes actually flit down to the table for a split second. Jongin nodded in understanding. Homosexuality was usually accepted nowadays, though there were still plenty of elderly people who would frown at a display of such preferences. In addition to that, it wasn't like assaults on people who were different ceased completely. The way Kyungsoo had reacted - outwardly nonchalant, but still avoiding eye contact - showed Jongin that he wasn't entirely comfortable showcasing this part of himself. Though he wasn't mad at Jongdae, so the two of them had to be very comfortable.

"That actually makes me very lucky," Jongin stated, and in response to the confused looks, he added, "because it makes you the perfect people to talk to."

Jongdae actually let off a little, going from a tight hug to light embrace, with one hand absently grasping for the cookies that had arrived.

"Yeah? What did you call us for, Jongin? Not that we mind spending time with you without a reason."

Jongin dismissed his reassurance with a small smile. It was time to get to the point.

"I was wondering about something. I was wondering whether I might have fallen in love."

A dumbfounded silence ensued. This question seemed to have caught both of the guys off guard.

"With Chanyeol?!" Jongdae asked, voice pitched a little higher as if the whole idea was ridiculous. Jongin couldn't understand what would possibly make Jongdae think so. His owner was lovable all around, by human standards. He was friendly, tall, had a handsome face, a knack for creativity and loved to laugh.

"Why would you think that?" Kyungsoo asked, naturally dark eyes trained on Jongin. He looked imploring and even mildly worried. Jongin tried not to be deterred by Jongdae's reaction.

"I've started to feel odd around him. My sensors keep malfunctioning and I feel wary and mildly unsettled. It started when he introduced his girlfriend to me on Monday-"

"Chanyeol has a girlfriend?" Jongdae cut him off with a pout, "and he didn't deem it necessary to mention that?"

"I'm sure he is going to tell you soon," Jongin said with certainty. Knowing his owner, he probably wanted to give them the news face to face.

"So you think you might be jealous."

The android looked at Kyungsoo, who patiently held his gaze, and nodded.

"I researched a lot about love, and jealousy seems to be a common theme. But I figured asking individual people for advice would be more effective than scouring the database," Jongin explained. He'd pinpointed these two as sensitive and open towards him - not to mention that they were close to Chanyeol and now he knew that one of them was attracted to his own gender. Not that Jongin technically had a gender.

"Not to sound ignorant, but... can an android fall in love?" Jongdae asked ad, almost mused as he absently rubbed Jongin's shoulder.

"They can," Kyungsoo answered before Jongin could. "Some of them at least. I once read an article about that..."

When he trailed off unsurely, Jongin took over.

"Some of them can emulate love. It's less complex than human love though. To say it in non-technical terms, androids can form lasting attachments to people that are good to them. In a way, it's a form of self-preservation to some. Of course, there are also Partner- and even SP-types who will give themselves to their owner unconditionally, but it's not as similar to human love as the aforementioned."

"And you can't sort of look into your source code to find out whether you're capable of doing such a thing," Jongdae guessed, and the android nodded.

"I can look into my code, as you are calling it. But this is one tiny function in a huge amount of affection-related regulations. Chanyeol gave me full permission to do whatever I want to my own code, and while I might not get down to the fine function of love, I could notch down on some obvious formulas regarding the gain of affection. Simply speaking, I could permanently take away a considerable amount of affection I have for Chanyeol - and if what I'm feeling right now is jealousy, then maybe I should. My owner shouldn't be burdened by that."

"Wait, wait, wait," Jongdae fell in, looking mildly alarmed, "you shouldn't do anything on a whim. This sounds like an irreversible thing. Like tampering with your genes."

Even Kyungsoo seemed to agree.

"Definitely. There's no telling what might happen to the balance of the overall system. Didn't Chanyeol say you're entirely custom made?"

"That's why I'm here to get your advice though," Jongin fell in, trying to calm them down. He hadn't done anything yet. He may not be the most complex and smart android out there, but he wasn't silly.

"But... how would I know whether it's love or just regular affection, meaning that the problem lies elsewhere?"

It got really silent after that. Here Jongin was, feeling uinstable and strange in the presence of his owner and self-declared companion, whom he cherished dearly. But how to tell the difference? Where was the line between companionship and love?

Kyungsoo was the first one to gather his thoughts.

"So what exactly do you feel like? Do you dislike his girlfriend? Do you feel angry or betrayed in your trust?"

Jongin shook his head.

"I didn't expect him to find a partner and I'm not sure whether this will change anything, but no. I don't feel either of this."

"So you're a little afraid of whether he'll lose interest in you now that a girl is in the picture?" Jongdae prodded, and Jongin tilted his head.

"Maybe? And that's love already? Not self-preservation or abandonment issues?"

His bluntness definitely caught them off guard, and Kyungsoo reached for his drink to take a sip, accepting that this discussion wouldn't be solved within the following seconds.

"He has a point, Dae. Could be just that."

With a contemplative groan, Jongdae leaned back in his seat. More silence ensued, until Jongdae finally snorted.

"What an absurd situation. How can this be so difficult?"

"Maybe because love is either much less magical than people make it out to be... or way too vague and complex for us to get it, after all," Kyungsoo hummed, resting his chin on one palm.

"Or maybe it's a little bit of both," Jongdae threw in, nestling his head into the crook of Jongin’s neck, who silently watched the exchange. Humans were decisively slower than androids, so he gave them time to come to a conclusion. This time it was Jongdae who had an idea first.

"Say, if Chanyeol were to have a really long-lasting, deep relationship with that girl... would that make you sad or happy?"

"Happy."

"Okay, and if he were to like her more than you - what would that make you feel like?"

Jongin hesitated for a split-second.

"A little sad."

"Because Chanyeol means a lot to you. If he weren't your owner, would that change anything about your affection?" Kyungsoo took over, and again, Jongin had to calculate a bit to get to his answer.

"No. That is, I have the strong urge to support my owner in any way, but if another owner told me to do something that may inflict any type of harm on Chanyeol, I'd be in a very tough spot."

Kyungsoo nodded as if the answer was obvious now. It was always so puzzling when humans saw something he didn't.

"You want to know what I think?" the quiet boy asked calmly, waiting for Jongin's nod before continuing. "I think I'd call this selfless love. Really, really selfless to a point humans aren't capable of feeling."

Jongdae agreed with a hum, snuggling close again now that they'd found a satisfactory answer.

"I know, right? In a way, you're lucky you're an android, Jongin. Humans can't stand their love not being reciprocated. Some may break while others won't, but no one would feel truly content staying beside your one-sided love. You, on the other hand, could do just that, without the pain and whatnot."

"Yes, but what about the malfunctions?" Kyungsoo threw in. "At the end of the day, no one but you can label your own feelings, Jongin. And only you can decide whether you're content or not with the way things are. It's about what love means to you."

They didn't part immediately after that, but when he returned home that day, this sentence was still echoing in Jongin's mind, being analyzed and picked apart.

What does love mean to me?

That was the question he had to find an answer to.

_

The moment he opened the door to the apartment, the question was temporarily whisked down on his priority list by the wave of half-burnt food odor invading his senses.

"Hey Jongin! Don't worry, nothing's burning, I swear!" a voice called through the apartment, and the android found his owner in the middle of an astoundingly messy kitchen.

"What's going on?" he asked helplessly, watching a mildly distressed Chanyeol bustle to the oven. There were streaks of flour on his clothes and the drying towels he used to take out the baking tray were barely recognizable anymore.

Chanyeol sighed at the outcome, and when Jongin padded closer to peek around him, he caught sight of some generously brown and rather dry-looking cookies. With a whine, Chanyeol leaned against the counter to catch a break, his attention now fully on Jongin.

"I was just baking biscuits, because it'll be Amber's birthday soon," Chanyeol said, ruffling his hair in frustration. "You know, I bet her friends will already bake her a cake and stuff. And we haven't been together for long enough to buy some big, super expensive present. I told her that I used to bake those with my grandmother, and I swear I did! I don't know why they turned out so badly!"

Jongin watched his owner complain, barely registering that he was smiling. Chanyeol was such a nice person. The way he was pouting over the result only showed how much he'd looked forward to gifting her with this dessert he had good memories with. He turned to take a closer look at the slightly burnt cookies, seeking for a matching entry on the database. Apparently those were a type of traditional shortbread cookies with a crust of sugar around them. A look around told him that Chanyeol had had the recipe written down. It only took him a few seconds to figure out what was wrong.

"The temperature is higher than in the recipe."

"What? No way, I checked it twice!" Chanyeol piped up, immediately kneeling before the simple oven to check it a third time.

"It's technically correct, but the way it heats differs from the old devices your grandmother presumably used. Modern ovens heat from all around, not only from top and bottom. Therefore you can take out the goods approximately 3 minutes and 12 seconds earlier," Jongin quickly calculated, and Chanyeol looked up at him in pure adoration.

"You're a genius, Jongin!" he called out, hugging his legs, and making Jongin smile even wider. Getting praised by Chanyeol wasn't exactly a tough achievement, but there was nothing he could name that made him happier. Was that considered love?



Together, they continued baking with Chanyeol rolling the dough through whisked yolk and sugar, only for Jongin to cut them into perfectly even slices, while a part of him kept pondering how to categorize his feelings.

To humans, love was something intense and oftentimes painful, especially when it's one-sided. Jongin had gathered that much from the looks and body language Kyungsoo was directing at Baekhyun, and that he was now able to interpret correctly. It was bringing out something primal in them, and even Chanyeol was no exception. He'd been different around Amber. Very excited and nervous and happy at the same time. Jongin, too, used to be a little nervous around Chanyeol, but now he felt nothing but safe in his presence. Chanyeol was his owner, yes, but he was less than that and much more at the same time. He gave him complete freedom, and not only allowed him to pursue whatever he wanted, but also actively helped him achieve his goals. Unlike other owners, Chanyeol never got annoyed when Jongin caused additional work or stress for him, instead of relieving it like Sentient Companions were supposed to. Whatever he did, Chanyeol took it in stride and though they had occasionally rubbed each other the wrong way, he'd never even considered getting rid of Jongin or adjusting him.

Chanyeol actually respected him.

Interesting, how much this actually affected... everything. But was it love?

"Chanyeol, can I ask you a personal question?" he finally spoke up, and Chanyeol stilled in his vain attempts of clearing his fingers from the sticky substance coating it.

"Since when do you even ask? Of course you can."

He did sound a little curious, but light-hearted and benevolent overall. Jongin decided that there would hardly be better timing in the future. He needed an answer to get to a conclusion.

"Will you distance yourself from me in the future? Because you have a girlfriend now?"

This question obviously had highest priority for Chanyeol, too, because the cookie dough was all but forgotten now.

"What are you saying?" he asked, serious concern blooming on his face. An emotion Jongin didn't see a lot, but when he did, it was usually directed at him.

"Me being in a relationship has nothing to do with what we have, Jongin. We're companions, aren't we? Do you not want me to meet up with Amber?"

The way he asked it sounded like he'd be conflicted if Jongin actually told him not to be with her. Like he would actually, seriously consider his complaints, even though relationships were often said to be above everything else on a human's priority list.

So did that make what Chanyeol felt for him love?

He looked into his owner’s expressive eyes that were scanning him for any sign of emotions.

And did it even matter?

With a smile, Jongin shook his head.

"No, I like seeing you be happy. You should keep meeting her."

Chanyeol smiled right back at him, butting their heads together because his fingers were still sticky.

"And you need to be happy, too," he stated with conviction, before returning to the task at hand, "how about we do something together, all three of us? See whether you get along with her?"

Jongin hummed in agreement and went back to cutting cookies, though he couldn't help but sneak glances at Chanyeol.

Whether it was love or not didn't matter. If the only thing separating love from friendship were physical activities Jongin couldn't engage in, then he already had everything he could possibly hope for. Because whenever Chanyeol looked at him, his eyes had this certain sparkle. The sparkle they got when he looked at things or people he cherished. This captivating little twinkle he's also shown Minseok and that excited dog someone had brought along into the subway where Jongin had met him for the first time. Yes, he'd analyzed how Chanyeol was creative, caring and open-minded. But back then, the little android had already put an irrational amount of importance on the fact that Chanyeol's eyes were just so pretty.

_

That evening, Jongin went to sleep before Chanyeol for once. The android was tired, more tired than usual, and Chanyeol guessed that he'd really been worrying his pretty little head about the thing with Amber and him. With a fond grin, he sat at the edge of Jongin's bed, hands running through his curls. Jongin was already fast asleep, curled up with his eyes closed, giving his system a much needed break. Jongin technically could survive by stimulating energy through this wristband of his, but like an actual computer, keeping him up and running all the time was slowly wearing his system out. Though he did seem more tired than usual lately.

Chanyeol pulled up the thin blanket a little. It wasn't strictly necessary, but Jongin liked a certain level of coziness.

He may not need food, but Jongin had a lot of other needs. He needed sleep, something to occupy his mind, someone to assert him with cuddles. Just like any other person.

And Chanyeol knew then and there (or maybe he'd known it all along, really), that even if others might call him weird, he'd never let go of the android. Even if no one else understood, they didn't have to. Chanyeol liked him. What they had was more than a simple friendship and different from an ownership. They lived together, shared everything, and it just... felt right. He really hoped Amber and Jongin would get along, but if they didn't, he knew whom he'd choose at the end of the day, even if it may hurt.

_

The next day he'd planned a trip to the zoo with Amber and Jongin. The latter seemed excited to see actual wolves, while Amber looked eager to touch bases with the curious android Chanyeol kept gushing about (her choice of words, not his). Everything went well... until they exited their apartment building and Jongin collapsed without a warning.

One second, Chanyeol was walking in between them, telling some menial story he couldn't even recall when a second later, Jongin was lying on the ground, unresponsive. Chanyeol whipped around at the sound of his body hitting the ground.

"Jongin?"

"Oh my god, what's wrong?" Amber asked, and they both knelt by his sides. Chanyeol felt like his heart had stopped beating. The android just lay there with glassy eyes, no response to their touches and questions. He looked... dead.

"Hey... hey, Jongin," Amber kept asking while Chanyeol just stared at him in a moment of terror. Just like that. It had happened... just like that.

"We gotta do something. Chanyeol, what are we gonna do now? I have no idea about androids-" she began, looking up to see the panic reflected in his eyes. A palm was patting his cheek none too gently, and Chanyeol snapped back into it, focusing on her intense gaze.

"Chanyeol. We gotta do something. Now," she repeated, and Chanyeol all but scrambled for his phone. Of course.

"I'll call Minseok. He repairs androids all the time. He knows Jongin," he murmured, fingers running up and down the android's upper arm as he impatiently listened to the silence on the other end. Jongin didn't stir. And Minseok didn't pick up.

"Goddammit," he cursed to himself, stuffed the phone away and lifted the lifeless android up. So light, he'd always been so light. Suddenly the fact that Jongin was, in fact, not human, seemed so glaringly obvious. Because even if you lose a human to a sudden streak of illness, you know at least a little of what's going on. There was first aid, the right numbers to call, people who’d help. Jongin, on the other hand, had just gone from completely fine to passed out in the blink of an eye.



He staggered towards the street, awkwardly waving at an automatic taxi, Amber on his heels.

"We'll just go there, Minseok will be there-" Chanyeol began, when a thought struck him. Jongin's creator. He had to know what to do. Amber looked at him from inside the car, arms still outstretched to help get Jongin inside, when Chanyeol changed strategies.

"You'll bring him there, I'll get his creator. Can you do that?" he asked urgently, already heaving Jongin inside. She nodded.

"Address?" she asked simply, and Chanyeol gave the address and swiped his card to pay for the ride. He didn't waste time looking after them and took off running to Jongin's workplace. People were staring at him left and right, but Chanyeol couldn't care less as he hastily made his way through people, occasionally bumping into someone and leaving a half-hearted apology lingering in the air. No matter what kind of a person this creator was, surely he'd help Jongin. He simply had to. The image of the lifeless boy was burnt into his mind already. Jongin didn't deserve this.

He was completely out of breath when he reached the pet shop, lungs burning and mind still high-strung on adrenaline. Without further ado, he burst inside the shop, all but demanding to see this android called Taemin.

"Taemin isn't on shift today," the woman behind the counter said with a judging glance at Chanyeol's ruffled appearance.

"Then please tell me where he lives, I need to see him!"

"I cannot give you information about our employees," the woman only stated with crossed arms, "that's against our policy."

"But Jongin is really, really sick - Taemin's owner might be able to help!" he insisted, palms digging into the counter with impatience.

"You might instead turn towards a repair facility, Mister."

"You don't understand..."

Chanyeol wanted to scream. How could she insist on such stupid policies when Jongin's life was at stake?! He caught sight of another employee, a tall, scrawny boy with bleached blond hair that was looking at him in shock, before gesturing towards the woman and disappearing in the back. Chanyeol took it as a sign to keep her busy, and started to explain the situation, hoping she would cave in. But to her, a malfunctioning android wasn't a big deal, apparently. To her, it was similar to a broken computer - either it could be fixed, meaning that time didn't matter, or it couldn't.

The simplicity with which she dared to tell Chanyeol that Jongin might just be broken, tempted him to actually jump over the counter and rattle her into reason. Jongin wasn't just some broken phone, goddammit!

The woman was threatening to call the police, when the boy's head popped back into the shop.

"The rabbits broke out again, Mrs. Kim."

"I'm busy, Sehun-"

"All of them."

With a disbelieving groan, she whirled around with barely concealed curses on her lips.

"Then you send this man home. Call the police if he won't leave-"

"I will leave!" Chanyeol angrily called after her, thinking that Jongin should really look for a job with an employer who had more respect for him. As soon as the woman was out of sight, blond boy pushed something into his hand. A plastic name tag. Taemin's.

"Scan the code on the back," he whispered harshly, urgency and genuine worry written into his eyes, "password is 375. Keep me updated on his status, will you?"

Chanyeol nodded numbly and the boy all but pushed him out of the store. Chanyeol whipped out his phone almost absently, eyes trained on the street in the hopes of finding a taxi for himself this time. He almost dropped the nameplate when he did, eagerly waving it over and hopping inside.

"Please name the destination," a pleasant, neutral voice said, and Chanyeol finally scanned the barely visible code on the back of the name tag. A few seconds later, he spoke up before the voice could repeat itself.

"379-51, Garosugil."

To a certain professor Kim, who was listed as Taemin's owner.

Chanyeol wasted no time admiring the pretty house that was obviously inhabited by someone at least moderately wealthy. He simply jumped out of the taxi, asked it to wait, and almost tripped over the few stairs leading to the door. He rang once. Twice. The sound echoed through the house, and Chanyeol had ten seconds to think about what kind of life Jongin might have led in a perfect house like this. Then the door opened and curious, bright eyes blinked up at him.

"Yes? How can I help you?"

He knew that it was Taemin without asking. It was painfully obvious. He really did look like Jongin.

"I need to talk to your creator. It's really urgent. Jongin has collapsed."

"Jongin?" Taemin asked in a mix of wonder and confusion.

"Tae, who's there?" someone asked, and Chanyeol shifted on his feet, barely withstanding the urge to barge inside.

"My android co-worker collapsed and a stranger wants to see you about it," Taemin called back obediently, and a man in a shabby, grey coat walked into the entrance area. He was young, rather short, neither stocky nor scrawny, with messy blonde hair, a pair of thickly-framed glasses dangling on his nose. Chanyeol took all this in without really trying to.

"Excuse me?"

"Jongin. That android you built, the one with the curly hair and tanned skin, the stubborn one-"

"Kai? How do you know about Kai?" the professor cut him off, wide-eyed and alarmed. He shook his head, fixating on the topic at hand.

"Where is he? Let me grab a few tools," he murmured, disappearing into a nearby room. Chanyeol was relieved that the man seemed to understand the urgency of the situation. Poor Taemin was left confused at the whole situation, still hovering uncertainly in the door frame.

"I'll be leaving the house, Tae!" the owner called, as if on cue, and the blond padded towards him, only to narrowly avoid crashing into the professor who stormed out of the room.

"Do me a favor and gather all the data you can find on Kai, will you? You have permission to go through my stuff. I'll text you the address so you can join me, then."

He hastily slipped into his shoes, not bothering to put on a jacket. Still, he did take the time to turn around and pat the android's shoulder, a gentle 'see you later' on his lips. A gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Chanyeol.

And even as they sat in the taxi with Chanyeol numbly answering the rush of questions the professor directed at him, he couldn't help sneaking glances at the guy. This was Jongin's former owner, his creator even. He seemed like such a genuinely concerned man. So how did Jongin end up on the streets?

"I didn't even introduce myself, did I? Kim Jonghyun's the name," the man said, offering his hand that had been rapidly typing on a notepad all the time. Chanyeol only hesitated a second. He had no other option but to trust this man. Whatever happened in the future didn't matter because currently, they were in the same boat.

"Park Chanyeol."

The moment they rushed into Minseok's shop and right towards the back, Kim Jonghyun made a beeline for the android lying on the table - just like Chanyeol. He didn't know what to expect, but the way the professor immediately buried a hand in Jongin's hair, cupping his cheek with an almost wistful sigh, had Chanyeol's heart twinge irrationally.

"Kai, my poor little Kai. What happened to you?" he asked, almost to himself.

"I assume you're the creator. Kim Minseok, I own this place," Minseok introduced curtly, one hand grasping a digital pen and the other fumbling with machinery that was connected to Jongin's wristband. Chanyeol was ushered aside and caught by Amber who gently, but firmly led him to a nearby chair. She didn't complain about having to stand, and though Chanyeol was going crazy hearing the two technicians talk about stuff he couldn't comprehend at all, the palms absently massaging his shoulders were soothing him just that little bit. Amber understood. She hadn't even gotten to know Jongin yet, and she'd told him how she hadn't ever personally met an android before. But seeing the very same boy that had been skipping alongside them, eagerly talking about wolves and lions, now lying on a table completely devoid of life seemed to get to her, too. Just thinking about Jongin being hurt and damaged in any way made his heart ache.

"Chanyeol."

He blinked, trying to focus on whoever had talked to him. It was Minseok, his voice bearing a drop of emotions on the mask that was his professionalism.

"I said we're not losing Jongin. We're not exactly sure what's wrong, but he's definitely not lost, you hear me?"

Chanyeol nodded numbly, and Amber mumbled reassurances meant for him alone while Minseok and the professor bounced more technical terms off each other, bustling around the room and fumbling with the patch on his nape.

"See? He'll be just fine. Those two are gonna nurse him back to health. You heard them? They're booting him up right now," she hummed, never ceasing the subtle kneading motions on his shoulders. As if on cue, Jongin sat up, glassy eyes blinking rapidly, and Chanyeol jumped to his feet.

"Booting process going without a hitch, it seems," Minseok said, eyes trained on a stream of data being projected on the whiteboard, while the professor was observing the android intently. Jongin regained focus with an unhappy frown ghosting over his expression, before he looked up, eyes darting right past the devices and people - right at Chanyeol. And his expression softened the tiniest bit.

"Chanyeol," he called out, and said one was by his side in a flash, grasping Jongin's free hand. The boy looked up at him with mild confusion.

"What is going on, Chanyeol? I don't remember what happened before my system crashed."

"We wanted to go to the zoo, remember? Together with Amber, we wanted to go see wolves and lions," Chanyeol reminded him gently, and Jongin tilted his head.

"We did? That sounds nice. Who is Amber though?"

The professor took a sharp inhale, but Minseok beat him to it.

"I think I got it. Selective deletion of information, probably loosely based on priority categories. That points towards one issue I've been low-key suspecting ever since I saw his data," he all but babbled now, moving around the notes with new-found vigor. The professor took over and pushed his own notepad into Minseok's hands to drag the numbers across the board himself.

"Don't tell me it's the virtual memory," he mumbled, flipping through the categories, "I realize that the system is weak there, but he shouldn't react like this-"

"Who is this man?" Jongin asked, and his creator actually stilled in his tracks, as if the statement had hit him hard. Despite the dislike he should feel towards him, Chanyeol couldn't help pitying him a little.

"He's-" he began, only to be cut off by both Minseok and the professor.

"Don't!"

"Don't tell him," the professor said almost harshly, and both Chanyeol and Jongin flinched, while Amber took a step forward, as if ready to cut in. With both hands lifted in defense, the blond looked at the android.

"Kai- I mean Jongin. Will you please mute your hearing? Just for a while. These words aren't meant for you."

Before anything, Jongin's head turned to look at Chanyeol, silently awaiting his response to the demand. Out of the corner of his eye, Chanyeol saw the smile on the professor's lips vanish, and it was obvious why. He'd been the one to build Jongin, had probably invested years into him, and yet the android made it very clear whom his loyalty lay with. There was no reason to rub it in, so Chanyeol silently placed his hands over Jongin's ears with a reassuring smile. Jongin seemed content and calm, despite the worrisome situation. Minseok was the first one to speak up, since Kim Jonghyun's eyes still lingered on the android.

"Alright, so do you remember the time when I checked Jongin's system?" he began, waiting for a silent nod to continue, "how I told you that I was amazed at the fact that Jongin is able to be so insanely observant, even with this outdated hardware he's running on?"

Chanyeol didn't actually remember those words, but now that he mentioned it...

"That's the key. He keeps taking in so many details that his system can't keep up with the flow of information. It drains his battery and clutters his memory."

"I guess he does need more rest than other androids..." Chanyeol muttered, and Minseok nodded.

"This is a vague guess of mine, but your relationship is new, right?"

Chanyeol nodded with the hint of a blush dusting his cheeks. Minseok didn't comment on it.

"Then I'd say that the additional input about your behavior in a relationship as well as the character of your girlfriend had been the last straw. It was too much and his system shut down. That's why Jongin shouldn't be confronted with the professor being his creator right now. Who knows what this might do to him. We shouldn’t risk anything right now."

Chanyeol silently nodded in newfound understanding. So analyzing his new behavior and adding Amber to the picture had been too much for Jongin. Professor Kim seemed to have snapped back into it as well, at the mention of his title.

"Did you notice any errors regarding his memory? Because it's likely that due to the massive amount of information, his system just started deleting things that were deemed less important, in order to keep going."

Chanyeol thought about it, but Amber was quicker.

"The tea!" she exclaimed, as if it should have been obvious from the start. "He switched up Chanyeol's preferred types of tea."

Right. There had been a few other instance like that. But they were all so minor, like Jongin forgetting what had happened in the last episode of the series they'd been watching, or when Chanyeol would return home.

The professor shot him a strict look.

"You should have noticed the signs sooner."

"But- but those things were so small, I thought he'd just forgotten," Chanyeol muttered pathetically small, and the creator shook his head, having none of it.

"Humans forget, Chanyeol. Androids like Jongin don't. Jongin isn't human, and you need to be aware of that."

Chanyeol didn't even attempt to argue. It was harsh, but it was the truth. This boy, whose curious eyes were currently flitting between him and Kim Jonghyun, wasn't human. And it was Chanyeol's responsibility to be aware of that at all times, in order to take care of him like Jongin did for him.

"What's the point in scolding him now," Amber jumped to his defense, "in fact, shouldn't you tell us why he ended up on the streets, anyway? You're acting like you're all that, but how can we even trust you at this point?"

The statement was like a slap to his face. With a sigh, the professor sat down on the edge of a work bench.

"You're right," he admitted, and now he just looked miserable. "It was ultimately my fault that this happened. You see, Kai isn't very old. Just about one year and a half ago, he came to life. Back then, I was in a stable relationship with a woman, and I sort of dedicated Kai to her. I was his creator, but first and foremost, my wife was his attachment figure."

One year and a half. So when Chanyeol had met him, Jongin had been just about one year old only.

"All was well. Kai adored my wife, just like I did. Our relationship took a turn for the worse, however. It was all bad blood with lots of drama and shouting. We finally decided to end it, and of course Kai wanted to stay with her. I made him promise to return to me in case something happened or if he needed help in any way, but... I guess that woman had other plans for him."

The blond sighed and ran a hand through his already messy hair.

"I can't believe she had him wipe his memory and just abandoned him. This isn’t about a personal feud anymore, this is... how could you possibly do that?"

Now Chanyeol really felt nothing but bad for this man. He was convinced that he was telling the truth - because this was the man who came up with Jongin's character, and no ugly person could have designed someone as beautiful as him, as far as Chanyeol was concerned.

"That's why you didn't search for him..." Chanyeol hummed, regarding the emotionally exhausted man with a contemplative look. Finally, he gave in.

"But isn't it amazing that Jongin somehow made it, anyway?" he began in a soft tone, "despite the obstacles, despite being left on the streets with literally nothing in his hands, he somehow found his way back to you."

The smile on Jonghyun's face was weak.

"And yet he's still wary of me. He really never did acknowledge or accept me. I appreciate the sentiment though. If that's how it is, there's nothing to do about it."

He stretched his limbs in an obvious attempt to give himself something to do.

"You should let Kai back in on the discussion. He looks like he's getting impatient-"

"Jongin," Chanyeol cut him off gently, but firmly. The professor sighed barely audibly.

"Right. Jongin. I'm sorry."

When Chanyeol lifted his hands from Jongin's ears, they were all warm, and with a faint pout, Jongin shook his head to get some air to them.

"Jongin, we found out what happened to you," the professor began, and Minseok stepped back to let him do the talking. The android watched him with cautious eyes.

"Your battery and your internal memory are weak. Your technician friend and I will think of something. You'll need some better parts, too. They're expensive, but-"

"I saved up money," both Chanyeol and Jongin said in unison, leading to the android looking up at the other in confusion.

"I told you not to worry about that," Jongin all but scolded him, but Chanyeol just quipped right back at him. "It was obviously a good idea - besides, you can't tell me what to do with my money!"

"Unless you have a lot of money saved, I'm afraid it'll take a little longer until we can actually afford them," the professor said, carefully keeping the expectations low. "So for now, just try not to expose him too much to interpersonal relationships and the likes."

Chanyeol nodded earnestly.

"I'll do my best."

"Jongin, you should cut down on the accumulated data, see if you can make some room in your head. Also, you might dull your receptors a bit, but you’ll be fine for now. You should go home and rest; you all look exhausted," the blonde suggested, "my boy will arrive soon with the data. We'll talk over the rest together, right?"

The question was directed at Minseok, who nodded silently as he loosened Jongin's wristwatch from the machinery and pulled off the patch. The android immediately hopped off the table and stuck to Chanyeol's side. It seemed like he was eager to leave this place. With a wave and a promise to stay in contact, Chanyeol finally steered Jongin out, who was all but clawing at his sleeves. He was uncharacteristically silent, even though his system appeared to be working without a hitch now. The first thing he did when they stepped outside was turn towards Amber, who had followed them.

"I'm sorry for causing so much trouble."

He had his head lowered and gaze averted -probably to keep the input to a minimum, like instructed- but his expression was obviously rueful.

"I obviously forgot about you. I'll work hard so I can get to know you soon."

"Ah, what are you saying," Amber cooed, patting his shoulder in a simple, friendly way. "We all have our battles to fight. Let's give Chanyeol some time, too, before we can make his life hard with combined forces!"

"I only make Chanyeol's life easier," Jongin argued, and Chanyeol was happy to see a hint of sass already returning. Amber only laughed.

"I can imagine. Ah, there's a bus, I guess I'll take that one - Yeol, text me?"

Chanyeol hummed in agreement, and since Jongin's eyes were still lowered, he allowed himself to sneak an innocent peck at her lips. He was still staring after her when she turned to wave at them from the bus window, feeling almost ridiculously dazed over something that small.

"You're still there."

Chanyeol was pulled back to reality by Jongin's words, seeking the object of the android's concern and finding it in the form of the professor lurking in the doorway of the shop. He appeared to be rather nonchalant; his interest in Jongin obviously outweighed any feelings of guilt over staring after them like a creep.

Jongin's shoulders tensed, and the android seemed to come to a conclusion. He stepped towards the man and looked him straight in the eye.

"Alright. If you promise not to tamper with the memories I've made with Chanyeol, you can try to restore the ones I have of you."

The blond looked mildly shocked, while Chanyeol was flat-out gaping.

"How did you know?! Did you eavesdrop, after all?" he asked, only for Jongin to shoot him one of his infamous, exasperated looks.

"I'm not silly, Chanyeol. This man helped fix me, and you knew about Taemin. I know you'd throw away any other concerns if my health is at risk."

Chanyeol sheepishly rubbed his neck. Of course, he couldn't ever hide anything from Jongin and should really be used to it by now.

"You cannot know the weight of your memories. Aren't you afraid that if you remember, you might leave Chanyeol, after all?" the professor inquired with an honestly intrigued look. Jongin didn't even hesitate a second. There was nothing to calculate, it seemed.

"No. No possible memory would make me leave Chanyeol. So you can try it."

Jonghyun actually chuckled at the blunt response and shook his head.

"You... you raised him really well," he said to Chanyeol, who had nothing but an unintelligent "huh?" to offer.

"To a certain degree, Jongin adjusts his morals and accommodates to his owner. Seeing that he's kind enough to soothe the misery of someone he shouldn't necessarily trust shows how good of an example you must have set for him. He seems really impressed by you."

"You're wrong," Jongin cut in before Chanyeol had a chance to say anything. He could only huff when Jongin drew him close in an almost protective way.

"He's not my owner. He's my companion."

Chanyeol could only stare at him. Jongin could have said that he was his owner, it wasn't completely wrong. He could have also claimed to be Chanyeol's Sentient Companion. But no, Jongin had chosen to claim Chanyeol as his companion. Because they were equal in his eyes.

This time Jonghyun straight-up laughed, and for the first time, Chanyeol could spot a familiar warmth in his expression that reminded him of Jongin.

"So he is your companion? Oh, what to do with you... of course he is, pardon me. Either way, I'd be delighted to meet you again, Jongin."

Jongin nodded seriously, and the encounter was over for him. He simply turned and tugged a slightly baffled Chanyeol along, who was still trying to comprehend that Jongin had taken all control from him, just like that.

And when they sat down in the next taxi, and the artificial voice asked for their destination, Chanyeol slowly dictated his address, and Jongin murmured "home" ever so quietly.

With a happy sigh, Chanyeol tipped his head until it rested on Jongin's, and they spent the ride bickering about whether or not Jongin should take a week or two off work.

Chanyeol also vowed not to let him down ever again. Jongin looked at him with his artificial and yet incredibly expressive eyes and simply stated that he hadn't. And when Jongin said things, he just meant them, he always did. So Chanyeol tried his best to hold his gaze and pour all his heart into his next words.

You’ve never let me down either.

Meeting you brought me nothing but happiness.

Judging by his smile, Jongin believed him.

_

"Hey, Jongin, will you lend me a hand?"

Jongin's eyes stopped scanning the lines of the book he was reading as Amber's voice called out from the kitchen, but he made no move to actually get up from the couch.

"Sorry, I'm in energy saving mode," he claimed, not even bothering to add a layer of innocence to his words. Amber poked her head into the room, just so she could shoot him a judgmental look.

"That's bullshit, and we both know it - you're even wearing your wrist thingie right now!" she half-heartedly scolded him, but it was all in good nature. Jongin simply shrugged. He did like Amber, and he did get up to help her set the table eventually, but not before a randomly chosen time span had passed (in this case, only 48 seconds) - after all, it was good to make it clear that the only one allowed to order him around was Chanyeol. Just once in awhile. Like how he liked to give Chanyeol some attitude every once in awhile, just because re-establishing their equality felt so nice.

In fact, there was something that felt even nicer - and that was the feeling Jongin got after unceremoniously wriggling in between Chanyeol and Amber, ruining their make out session in favor of the promised movie night. When he ended up snuggled in between the two bodies, wrapped up in pleasant warmth with Chanyeol's arm around his waist and Amber's around his shoulders.

 

Because Jongin's analytic mind knew very well that this was the closest he'd ever get to perfection.

 (LJ Post)